Thanks Anyway

For those of you who feel the need to diagnose me, please refrain. I have not included all the details of my problems or all the symptoms. My purpose on this webpage was only to vent, not to give you a full disclosure of my health nor seek any help.

I have kept all this a secret for years partially to avoid this discussion. However, in doing so, I therefore have been allowing myself to deny my physical problems, even to myself. By writing some of them here, and thereby informing someone on this planet other than my husband, I'm forcing myself to take stock in my own health and admit my body's failings.

I don't want to admit these failings. I did nothing to cause them except to be born. Yet I did, and still do feel that they appear to be something indicative of mistreatment of a body, such as overeating, or improper mental health. Yet they are not. I therefore feel highly embarrassed about these things, and, well, let's just say I have very strong emotions about how much I hate this and am embarrassed by it. However, I can admit it and begin treating physical problems accordingly, or I can continue to get sicker and sicker until my usefulness in this life has become even more negligible.

So, please be patient with me. I'm working on it.

Man, I'm upset tonight. Can you tell? :-)

Note: I'm upset at the situation, I'm not upset with any person. :-)