Adaptation

Picture from Disaboom.com

Hey there old friends! Sorry I haven't written here in a while. My life has been changing a lot. Kelley, congratulations on your new baby. Brian, congratulations on the move to Georgia. Lisa, congratulations on the move to Kansas. Anna, yes, I actually wrote in my blog! :-) Miracles never cease! hehe :-)

I hope everyone is doing well. Since about February, my mobility has been quickly declining, and I've been dealing with and adjusting to that, so I haven't had time for blogging. But, things appear to be stabilizing out now, and life is attempting to return as much as possible to normal. So I've been eager to write here and to reconnect with my friends all over the country.

I wanted to take this opportunity to let everyone know that yes, I look different than I used to, but that it's going to be okay. I'm doing alright. I use crutches and a wheelchair to get around now. These are just tools for travelling, like a bike or a car. To quote Christopher Reeve: "I'm still me." :-) Actually, I'm a whole lot more social and talkative than I used to be. Interesting side effect. :-) I like it!

I write this to inform my friends, and not to complain. I was born with a spinal cord disease that has been slowly getting worse the older I get. I didn't know how bad it was going to get, and so I thought it was best that I didn't tell anybody, so as not to worry them with something that couldn't be fixed. If I had known that I would be where I am today, I would have told everyone years ago, in order to prepare them for what has come. But, I didn't know either.

In the past 4 years, I've slowly done fewer and fewer things that I love. I've stopped hiking, going on walks at town lake, biking, gardening, home improvements, and other recreational activities such as going to Sea World. In the past 2 years, I've cut down on even required things, such as some grocery shopping, cooking food, doing laundry, cleaning the house, and following my kids around. Going to the beach last year meant mostly sitting on the shore watching everyone else try to surf, and being in incredible pain from trying to walk on the uneven sand.

Earlier this year, around February, everything progressed a whole lot quicker. In addition to the pain of spastic muscles, I began to also have incredible weakness in the affected areas. It has become incredibly hard for me to move my legs and feet and sometimes my right hand. I went from a cane (which I really should've started using about 2 years ago, but I wasn't humble enough back then), to crutches, to now, in which I use crutches for really short distances and a wheelchair for medium to longer distances. It takes a great deal of effort to do what I used to do with a lot less effort when I was younger, so I can only walk a very small amount each day.

This is just how it happens with some people, and it appears I'm one of them. It should steady out soon, if it hasn't already. I have it in my legs the most and also on the right side of my body, so my right hand, for example, isn't nearly as useful as my left hand. I have a therapist who helps me, and I do lots of stretches to help the muscles not get too tight. Since I'm not a young child, though, that's about all that can be done. So it's just a matter of adjusting.

I know it's a big shock for a lot of people, and I'm sorry for that. Anyway, I don't write this here to complain or anything, but because I know so many of you care about me, and I wanted you to know what's happening. It is permanent, but because I can still take a few steps now and then, it's still better than a complete spinal cord injury, and I'm grateful for that.

Our home has stairs. We considered moving for a while, and instead we've decided to modify the home with ramps and stairlifts, etc. It's cheaper to modify than to move, plus we love our home, so we're staying put.

Well, that's all I can think of. Don't hesitate to ask me questions if you want to. At first, earlier this year, I was very hesitant to tell people something was wrong with me because I'd been hiding it for so many years, and it was a strange adjustment for me to start telling people. But I'm over that now, and I'm sorry that I was so shy about it for so long.

Anyway, Brian and I are adjusting, and are beginning a new chapter in our lives. Brian is a wonderful help, and has really been a great support to me. I'm so grateful for him! He's taking such good care of me that I feel he needs more support than I do right now. We know it'll be okay, the Lord is taking good care of us.