Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Good News, ankle update

We went to the other doctor today. I was very nervous, but Brian came so that helped a lot. :-)

This guy was great. He also has an ongoing ankle injury and can sprain it by walking on a large pebble, and, he hasn't had surgery for it. I was very relieved that he had a similar injury and that he wasn't going to push surgery on me.

He taught me some more about how to care for a sprain, and set me up with some Physical Therapy. Also, he very much agrees that I need orthotics, which are custom made shoe inserts. He agrees with me that the pronated feet are what causes all the sprained ankle, not to mention all the hip pain. I'm so happy to be having all of this addressed.

So, thoughout December, I'll get orthotics made and start physical therapy. I should start feeling a lot better by the end of the year. :-)

He says I need to stop exercising and such for a few weeks, until the PT starts and I get my orthotics, which is sad, because I practically live for my Saturday walks around the lake, but it will be nice to get this done, then it won't hurt in the future. Also, this is really good news for future pregnancies. Both of my last pregnancies were more difficult and complicated because my feet, and therefore legs and hips were misaligned. Alex got stuck coming out because he basically needed to turn an extra corner, so we needed a skilled doctor to fish him out, and with Sam my hips hurt so bad that I couldn't sleep at night and had to go to a Chiropractor three times a week for the last trimester. Then, ever since he's been born, almost five years now, I've had to go to a massage therapist every two weeks to have her realign my hips and massage out the damage that walking does.

I'm excited, and relieved, and hopeful for the future. :-)

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! We had a great holiday this weekend. Just staying home and resting. Thursday was a great meal accompanied by football on tv and resting. Friday we ran errands, seemed like the thing to do :-), and we picked up a new mobile phone for me, which I really needed. Now I can answer my phone, the house phone which is transferred, two email accounts, and two IM accounts, and have internet services. I'm so happy. And, most importantly, my phone won't hang up on you anymore when you try to call me. :-) I hope you all had a great holiday as well. Later, Brian's going to look into buying and putting up exterior Christmas lights for the first time. We'll see how it goes. Have a great weekend! Here are some pictures from around our house on Thursday.
Fall Trees in our Backyard

Cute Boys ready to eat a Thanksgiving meal.

The table is decorated and set.

Here's a picture of our backyard patio, with picnic table and the new grill.

Part of our Living Room. Sam has made sure that his stuffed animals are included in the festivities.


The table is now ready.


Brian held the camera out and took a picture of both of us. :-)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Diagnosis

I went to the specialist. Good thing I brought x-rays, because he wanted to take his own. The diagnosis is chronic lateral ankle instability. At least two of the three ligaments on my ankle are severely stretched. He says my choices are ankle braces for the rest of my life or surgery. And he recommends the surgery. He's now referred me to his friend who does the same thing as he does, but does surgery more often; we can get a surgical consult.

To tell the truth, and I didn't tell him this, I'm leaning towards not having surgery. Not only is the recovery two months, but more importantly, I don't think I'm comfortable with the idea of my tendons being moved around and reassigned. I'm sure it would work, however. I guess it's like glasses. Brian and I could have eye surgery, but it's fine, we're used to glasses, they work well, just live with it. An ankle brace would be just like glasses. I'm quite used to this ankle. It would be too weird for it to suddenly be straight and firm. It wouldn't feel like me.

The trick is that the ankle can't take much more. He says the bone shows a lot of stress, and looks like a bone would look after repeated sprains. He asked if they've been getting worse, and I hadn't realized it consciously, but they have. The past two hurt in my foot as well as my ankle, and the one this weekend forced a limp, which I didn't appreciate. I guess that's what finally motivated me to go to the doctor. He says it's just a matter of time until every sprain is replaced by a fracture. That it will keep happening for the rest of my life, and keep getting worse.

Well, we'll probably get the consult, and then I'll probably just buy a new ankle brace or two, for variety's sake. I'm quite tired of the one I have now. Also, he likes my orthotics I have, he says they're the best non-custom ones. But he says I need custom, so once I get the surgery, or once I decide not to get it, I need to go back and get custom orthotics made.

The good news is that all this is what causes my hips to get misaligned. Once I have better orthotics, and wear the brace a lot more, my hips won't hurt anymore. You know, I'll have to find a brace that I could wear to the beach, in the water, since walking on the sand and pushing through the waves always sprains my ankle. Adjustments.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Doctor

I sprained my ankle again Saturday on my walk around the lake, the walk that I love to take. I sprain this thing about once every 1-2 months. It's quite normal for me. However, this time, I'm tired of it. I'm just not in the mood for limping this weekend. Usually, I'm strangly okay with it, and it doesn't bother me. I guess I just finally needed to know if anything could be done about it.

So, I went to the doctor yesterday, to the weekend place. They took x-rays and everything. Nothing is broken. It's funny, other than my teeth, that ankle is the only part of my body that's been x-rayed. It was x-rayed when I was 9, and I sprained the same ankle really badly. My theory is that the thing never healed properly when I was 9, because it sprains so easily now. The doctor referred me to a podiatrist, so I'll go see him tomorrow morning. That's funny for two reasons, one, my aunt is a podiatrist, so it's funny that I'd need a posiatrist other than her. Two, I always knew I needed to go to a podiatrist for this foot and ankle, since I was about 11. It's never been right since the sprain when I was 9. I've just been putting it off.

Let the record show that it's finally time. I picked up my x-rays from the doctor's office this morning, and I'll bring them with me tomorrow.

That's all, no article today. I'm tired from walking; need to rest. Love you all!

Monday, November 06, 2006

How to convince your husband?

Recently, I was talking to a friend about unassisted homebirth, which is something I've done, and something she was interested in. I won't go into the pros and cons of unassisted homebirth here, I'll refer you to my other articles on that. However, she pointed out, it came down to one thing: even if this choice was the best option for her, how could she get her husband to agree with her? How could a wife get a husband to agree on anything? She asked me what I did to "convince" my husband. Well, here's how it is.

The key to this method is respect. If your husband is a good man, and you respect each other, this will work very well. Remember to respect him, and he will respect you.

When I am learning about a new thing, perhaps a new thing we could do to improve our family, or a new belief system, or a device I want to buy, or whatever, I tend to read a lot about it. My husband, though also a great reader, simply doesn't have as much time in his life to learn and read as I do. So, once I begin to love a topic, and want to get him on board, I begin a slow teaching technique. Long before I tell him my opinion on the topic, or why I love it and am so exicted about it, like days or weeks before that, I gradually begin to introduce the subject. I try to sound very neutral about it.

Indeed, I must be very neutral about it. If I were to flood him, not only with information on the subject, but also with my strong emotions and feelings on the subject and how it can change our lives, it would be far too much for a man to handle. Men move much more slowly than woman do, especially when emotions and passion for something are involved.

The first night, for example, I will tell him that the thing exists, that some people actually do this thing. Then, the next night, if he's ready, I spend just a few minutes of the evening, not too long, further describing what the thing is -- still, completely neutral in emotion or opinion towards the subject. Then, I give it a few days, like two or three, in which I continue to learn about it, but I don't mention it to him at all. This gives you time to be absolutely sure on the topic by learning as much about it is possible, and more importantly gives him time to feel that he is not being ambushed every time you see him. This is an important step, don't skip it.

Then, after that time has passed, you gently bring it up again, this time telling him you kind of have an opinion and might be in favor of this thing. Even though you are incredibly passionate about it, he's still not ready for that. This evening, you're still mostly sharing facts, but you are also telling him that this thing may be rather important to you. He didn't know this before, this is the first time he's hearing it. Remain calm, you are not pressuring him, you are merely stating your opinion, then backing off. It will be about more three days until he will start to understand what your opinion is and what it means. Be careful in this stage. If you do not harness your emotions, you might find yourself telling him that you will to do the thing, no matter what his opinion is on it. Whether or not this is true, today's not the day to mention it.

The trick to this whole thing is to set up a situation in which your husband feels free, and indeed, really is free, to make his own decision on the subject, and remains at all times in a situation in which he is completely free of spousal pressure. See, you're not telling him what to do. You are giving him the following information, like a news article would:

1) this thing exists, and here are the facts on it, in a fair and balanced manner, not taking sides
2) later, this is my personal opinion on the subject.

Both of these two things listed above are just giving him information that he didn't have before. He didn't know the thing existed, or was a real possibility in your lives, and he didn't know you cared about it.

After providing such information, and providing days or weeks of time and productive discussions on the matter, he will then be in a position to form his own opinion on it. A person really can't form an opinion until they have a certain amount of information on it.

The productive discussions may go on as long as you both want to talk on the matter. If you think he's forgotten about it, it's quite possible he has. It's okay to bring up the subject when you wish, provided that the first steps are completed. Be aware as you are talking to him, though. Be sensitive, and be prepared to drop the subject once he is finished talking about it that day.

Oh, and by the way, don't ask his opinion on it until you're at least a week into this, maybe not even then. When he knows his opinion, he'll tell you. Don't push him, or he'll back out of the deal completely. You can ask him, when he's ready, one or two weeks into it, if you can do the thing. He may not answer right away, but it's good at that point to tell him what your goal is, and what you need of him, for whenever he's ready to give it.

This is how I "convince" my husband. I leave it in quotes, because, as I understand it, I'm not convincing, or trying to change his mind without consulting him on it first, and I am not telling him what to do. I am providing him time and information that he needs to form an opinion and a plan.

Yes, this may completely fail. By respecting that your husband, just like you, has all these levels of freedom, he may completely go the other way. But, hopefully, it won't happen too often. Plus, it's well worth it, not only because it's a nice way to do things in a marriage, but because those times when he does agree with you, he'll really agree with you!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Halloween and Master Bedroom Pictures

Here are the pictures of the newly rearranged master bedroom I promised. Here you can see the bed in the corner, and my bookcase.


This is the view from the bed. The bedspread really doesn' t match the walls, the flash on the camera just brightened it. Here you can see Brian's bookcase-type-piece of furniture, on the left, and his desk and accessories on the right of the picture.


Here's the place where the two desks come together in the middle of the room. This way we can work on our work, and still be together. When our offices were in separate rooms before, we felt like we had to choose between getting work done, and being together. This is much nicer. And the boys can sit in Brian's chair (on the left) and off the side of my desk during the daytime when we do schoolwork.


Here's a closeup of the two desks together. Maybe it's symbolic of our marriage. Different people who are right next to each other. :-)


Here is the boys dressed for Halloween. Alex is Superman again, like last year, and Sam is a "dead man". He was going to be a Jack-o-Lantern, until about 4pm on Halloween, then he changed his mind. He wanted to be a "dead man" like Brian was last year, from the song: it's a dead man's party.


This is the crazy pose of the boys in their costumes.