Cpt. Chandler: Yes, but sometimes the answer is no.
-- from M*A*S*H. My dad used to always tell me the story of this quote, and now I'm so glad he did because it perfectly describes my life, and gives me lots of comfort. :-)
Just when the caterpillar thought
her world was over,
She became a butterfly
She became a butterfly
-- I just read this on someone's blog. I don't know where they got it from.
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!
-- from WKRP, another show my dad used to watch, and a funny quote that I was remembering earlier this week for no apparent reason, other than it was funny.
I just had a really bad week just now, and somehow everything I was sad or mad or upset about from the past 1.5 years just welled up inside of me. I felt a lot of anger for a day or two there. I think it was good for me to let myself fully feel all of it, I really needed that.
But -- I needed to stop it before it went on too long.
Fortunately, I started reading conference talks from last week's conference, and found one from the Prophet during the men's session that applied to me. It was about not being angry. http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1117-21,00.html Well, it was exactly what I needed! I guess the spirit can speak to us through conference talks, because I somehow learned more lessons than were taught in that talk. :-) That, combined with the loving friendship of my friends and some inspiration from my ultra-romantic husband, who is teaching me to focus on the important things in life, like love, and not focus on stuff that doesn't matter as much, like disabilities or hassles in life.
I watched "50 First Dates" today. We had recorded it when it was on tv earlier this week. I love that show because it's so funny, and has great people in it (not to mention the scenery!). But this time the movie really spoke to me. I was crying the whole second half of the movie pretty much -- in a good way. It was a love movie, just like Brian likes. But more than that, the woman had a physical problem that no one wanted her to have, but everyone had to deal with. Adam Sandler didn't want her to have the problem, but he loved her anyway, and just had to work around it in order to get to love her. And what he did for her changed her life, and allowed her to live her life, which she might not have been able to to do if he hadn't come along. Most importantly, at the end of the movie, everything is great, and they are living a wonderful life -- EVEN THOUGH she still had the exactly same physical problem she had at the beginning. It was wonderful. It showed me that you don't let the thing stop you, that it can still be there, and you can still life a great life. That's life. I loved it.
And just like that movie, my husband loves me a lot, and doesn't care at all that I don't stand up anymore. I mean, he cares, but only that he also wishes it wasn't so, but it doesn't affect his love for me. How fortunate am I?! So, I need to take his lead and just be happy like he shows me to be, and not worry about everything.
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me
Someone to watch over me
-- from "someone to watch over me", which as far as I'm concerned came from Mr. Holland's Opus, even though I hear that it was a song before that. and that show, by the way, reminds me of John Holt. :-)
I wanted to report back that I'm feeling much better today! It's appears to be over. I love rain, and it rained a lot today! :-) And I got to get caught up on laundry, and school work with the boys, and other things I needed to do, and I took a nap which I desperately needed. So, I feel much better, and somehow, the weight of the world has literally been removed from my shoulders. I feel much better. :-)
I really need to find a hobby, something that I like to do, for me, to replace hiking and other stuff I used to do in my prior life. I'll have to keep you updated on that search.
No comments:
Post a Comment