Homeschooling How-To for the First Year

Homeschooling How-To for the First Year:
especially aimed for a first timer with a child in kindergarten


These notes were written for a friend of mine who is seriously considering homeschooling, and is based on her questions. Therefore, this is geared more towards the Kindergarten year of school for first-time homeschoolers. She is doing something I highly recommend, which is to start homeschooling the year before the child would naturally begin grade K in the public school system. During this year you can teach Preschool, Kindergarten, or a mix of both, depending on the child’s readiness level. This gives you a year to have a full homeschooling program in your home, lots of time for trial and error to see what works for you and what you like, with no risk, since your child will love the learning anyway. The next year, you’ll know how it went. You’ll know if you want to continue homeschooling, or if you want to put them in public school. Then, at least, you’ll know what’s right for your family. It’ll be a fun year. Nothing can go wrong.

For reference, here is my current homeschooling webpage. I will refer to parts of this page later in this article.


School Day Time Schedule: hours of the day, length of school, consistency

Average homeschoolers do schoolwork for about 4 hours a day at older ages, not counting extra curricular activities. This is equivalent to the amount of actual schoolwork done during a high school day. However, younger children won’t need nearly this much. For early grades, I do about three hours, but for Kindergarten, it’s more like 1 to 1.5 hours, sometimes pieced together throughout the morning or the day. In this time you could include art projects, nature walks, and other activities, though sometimes they will bring your time to a higher total. Play with other children, though important to homeschoolers, would be in addition to this total.

Consistency is nice, and appreciated by most children. However, I find that having the opportunity to change the schedule to best serve the needs of the family is one of the best parts of homeschooling. So, unless your child is one of the rare ones who absolutely needs a time schedule, don’t worry about this too much.

Every homeschool is different, but for me, I’ve found that approximate times are plenty for us. We start at approximately 10am, and go until approximately 1pm (for a 1st grader). We can start earlier or later, some days we do just the bare essentials, then go on a field trip or run lots of errands. Other days, we may start later in the day, but then we do school-related activities into the late afternoon. Most people tend to prefer mornings because the children are more calm and more receptive to learning. This you’ll have to decide based on your children’s and your personalities.

Some states have a rule of 180 days of school per year. Texas has no specifics like that in its homeschooling law, but it’s still a nice guideline. I find that I base my homeschooling calendar loosely on that of the local school district. I used to want true year-round school, but the summer months brought heat and fatigue that really encouraged a break in schooling. Now, I start a few weeks early, and either end with the district or a week or two later. I take a shorter Winter Break, and my Spring Break is usually on the “wrong” week, but we take more vacations during the year. For example, whenever we have a kid’s birthday, or the grandparents come to visit, there’s a week of no school. It’s nice to be able to adjust the schedule to the family’s needs. It’s also nice to be able to go on vacation during non-peak times, which we always do now.

Keep in mind when schooling a Kindergartener or Preschooler not to be too hard on them, not even respecting the 180 rule. This is for two reasons, both of which are based on the fact that younger children can only sit and listen so long, and that they learn so much from play and interacting with their environment. It would be a big loss to take away that opportunity from a 4 and 5 year old. Be sure to give them lots of time to investigate things that are interesting to them. They will learn more teaching themselves (through play) at this age then they will from being taught. Anyway, the two reasons are that 1) until recently, both Preschool and Kindergarten were both only half-day classes, going maybe 3 or 4 hours total, which included nap time and snack time; and 2) no state requires mandatory schooling of a child until they are either 6 or 7, depending on the state. So, those 4 and 5 year olds could easily just have school 4 days a week if you wanted, or less. There’s no need to push it at this age.

So, to sum up, the schedule is loose, and completely up to you. Some homeschoolers have certain subjects on certain days of the week. Usually this starts in 1st grade, when there are more “subjects” to cover. I tend to keep track of where we are in various subjects in my head, so I switch back and forth every few days or weeks to keep it all balanced. Plus, you never know how long your child may have to stick on one topic until it is grasped. So, I don’t like to plan the specifics too far into the future. I just plan what I want them to know by the end of the year.



Annual Curriculum and Expectations by the End of the Year

Every July, I create a list of specifics, of what I expect my child to have learned, grasped, done, or understood before I will allow them to graduate to the next grade level. I stick to normal grade level requirements based on my children’s ages, but some families with gifted students may wish to use requirements from grade levels above the child’s age level. Only the parents will know. With our children, I only require that they at least remain at grade level. They then excel in some areas, such as reading and science for Alex, while other areas, such as history and handwriting, I’m happy to just keep him at par with his peers. To me, the beauty of homeschooling is that you can do the same job as public schools, but more personalized, and in less time; and hey, if the child gets to learn something extra, something he’s interested in, such as chemistry for my son, then that’s all to his benefit. This is because, then, in addition to an education, you’ve given your child a lifelong love of learning, the knowledge of how to guide his own studies, and advanced learning in subjects that very well may become his source of income as an adult. All of these things are very rare in today’s public high school graduates.

My list of specifics and expectations starts with Rebecca Rupp’s book Home Learning Year by Year: How to Design a Homeschool Curriculum from Preschool through High School. Also, here in Austin, you can get the Curriculum requirements per grade per subject for AISD at this website. I take these lists and modify them as needed, removing things my child already knows, adding things I think they can understand this year and will benefit from knowing, and also adding other things, such as social skills, religious learning, and personal milestones such as bathing, brushing own teeth, etc.

For the first semester, I don’t worry about this list too much, since the books and other sources of learning we will use will naturally cover most of this. Around February, I’ll start checking things off the list, to make sure we are sure to cover each of them. When the books and this list are done, around May, then the school year is done. To see my personal expectations lists for my kids, go here for Kindergarten and here for Preschool. The list I prepared of resources for Kindergarten one year can be found here.


Subjects

At younger ages, which subjects to teach is a little more vague than you would normally think. Here, you can use the curriculum lists mentioned above as a general reference. For kindergarten, they are generally: phonics, reading comprehension, beginning handwriting, listening and speaking, math, measurement, basic history and geography, basic earth science, art and music, and physical games and sports (physical education).
I find that I spend much longer at these earlier ages on the basics of pre-reading (phonics, letter recognition and letter sounds) and early math (counting, sorting) than I do on some other things. But in this grade, everything is so hands on and down to earth that it’s easy to do one thing with the child and have it count for many subjects.

I don’t think anyone covers all subjects every day, or even every week. I tend to cover things like reading and math regularly, with science, geography, story retelling, handwriting practice, and art happening at semi-regular intervals.

Science at this age can be pretty much covered in nature walks and kitchen play. I tend to spend a while planting seeds, talking about what a seed needs to grow, and then watching it grow while caring for it. Prisms and rainbows are good, gravity and weigh, light and heavy, light and dark, cold and hot, thermometers, ice turning into water. Names and details of some animals, with pictures and action and sound effects. Basic weather such as sunny day, rainy day, cloudy day, and how to dress for each. Seasons are good to go over, though I find they won’t remember the names of the seasons until they are almost six years old, but it can’t hurt to try. That’s it. Cover those things slowly, in the afternoons perhaps, throughout a whole year, and you’ve done science. J


Budgets

The cost of homeschooling, is, like everything else in this job, widely variable and different for every family. For us, it is an expense, but not a large one. Our main costs are internet-purchased workbooks, reading books, internet subscriptions, music lessons (if any), field trips (though mostly free), and the three or four annual trips I allow myself to the school store Teacher’s Heaven. I have to pace myself and not go too often. Most books and workbooks and paper and supplies I buy in July for the new school year, totaling at, for two kids, about $150-$250. It was at the higher end the first year, since we were just getting started, but since then it’s been a low lower. Lots of supplies can also be found in good but used condition from other homeschooling parents. Then, throughout the year, we have monthly fees to whatever, and occasional trips to get more math manipulatives, posters ($2 at Teacher’s Heaven), or books to read (Borders will give you a 20% discount card to use for a year if you tell them you are a homeschooler!). There are yahoo groups of homeschoolers selling used supplies which is a great source of useful stuff you don’t have to go find. In Austin, the group on Yahoo is called UsedHSStuff. So, the monthly fees for homeschooling two kids are usually below $50. Though, I bought hermit crabs one month, and with supplies that totaled at $100, we blew the budget that month. J

Music lessons are probably the most expensive thing you can pay for in homeschooling, I’ve found. They are usually $20 for 30 minutes. So, now you’ve been warned.

We like to use two websites to help in our schooling, and we have to pay fees for them. Time4Learning.com is something I found a few months ago and is helping us out a lot. The only downside is that K is the first grade level they have, so for a preschooler, it’s about half something they’d use and half something they don’t truly get. I’ve had Sam on this program for half a year now, he being a preschooler, and he’s understanding it all, but I know he’ll forget some of it due to his age, so I’ll probably have him do it again next year when he actually is in Kindergarten, no loss. Alex, being in 1st grade, loves his work. The math is at just the right level, and the reading is usually too easy, but I have him do it anyway so that he can learn those little phonics tidbits I may have forgotten to teach him. You can adjust the grade level for your child at any time. This site is (if I remember correctly) $20/month for one child or $35 for two.

The other website we love is actually two sites: BrainPop.com and its new little sister BrainPopJr.com. We’ve subscribed to BrainPop.com for three years now, and we’re about to sign up for next year. It’s a wonderful site in which they made animated but smart mini-videos on every school subject. They are so informative, and so easy to understand. It’s an amazing resource. BrainPopJr is new so is still free until May 1st, 2007, at which time they will begin charging for it. Be sure to check this out before the free trial time is over! These sites have a one-time fee which allows a full year of access. Because the number of videos available has grown so large, they just raised the prices for these sites. A year of BrainPop Jr. this year will be $95.


Online Resources

Other websites I wanted to mention include local groups and Enchanted Learning.com . this link will take you to the non-subscribers’ site. This site is only $20 a year and provides literally tons of informational and graphic printouts. Subjects range from animals, to science, to holidays, to seasons, to presidents, to cultures, to maps, to letters, to nursery rhymes. It’s a wonderful site which I recommend for any hands-on homeschooler.

In Austin, there are Yahoo groups that can set you up with other homeschooling families in the area, which is a great resource. Austin Area Homeschoolers’ groups are aah-announce, and AAH-Newsletter, and aah-discuss. Hays Area Christian Homeschoolers (HACH) is titled in Yahoo: HACH-Hays_area_Christian_homeschoolers. Personally, I stick with HACH instead of AAH because their meetings in Kyle are closer to me than AAH’s meetings in North Austin. HACH has a great monthly meeting called Smoothing the Way which is created to help new incoming homeschooling parents. What a great resource. They also have a weekly park day, quarterly mother’s nights, occasional curriculum exchanges and sales, occasional group free exchanges of clothing and toys at the park, and a monthly field trip club. The email list can also be used to hook up with sports, music, foreign language, dance, and any other extra-curricular training you may want for your child. On a full day, about 40 families show up to this park day; it is a large and well-run group full of wonderful people. I highly recommend signing up for this group and watching for a while, you can use me and Misty and Jessica as references.

Here’s what my friend Lindy Hayward of HACH says about Smoothing the Way:
Smoothing the Way is an organization I have been involved for several years as a mentor and as a leader. To us leaders, STW is a way to minister to others as they learn to serve the Lord and their families. The whole reason for STW (for those who are not familiar with it) is to provide assistance, support and training to new homeschooling families. Personally, it was invaluable to me and my family as we started in this life-style years ago. I highly recommend it and would love for as many people to take advantage of this opportunity.


Some Popular Curriculum Resources

There are, you’ll find, hundreds of places to buy school books and supplies from. I think this is a good thing. Our capitalist society will sell what the public demands, and it’s clear right now that the public wants great homeschooling resources because companies are producing it more and more every year. Some popular companies that my homeschooling friends and I have used are: Sonlight, Five-in-a-Row, Singapore Math, Apologia, ETA/Cuisenaire, Horizons, Usborne, and Explode the Code. Of course, don’t let me limit you, new products are coming out all the time. I like to take a break from school in the summer and spend a few weeks shopping for what I’ll use in the coming year. The best stuff is online. I only go to local stores for physical supplies, posters, and maybe the occasional workbook, but the good stuff is found online.

I have always combined learning resources from various sources. Sometimes I stick to one source for one or more subjects, but so far I’ve never had just one source for everything. Maybe some people have, but if so, I haven’t met them. Everyone I know combines the best of all worlds in compiling a curriculum.


Husband Involvement

This is a good question, that being, do I have to do this all on my own, or what can I get my husband to do? Most husbands are gone much of the day, but this doesn’t mean they don’t have a responsibility here. Homeschooling is and should be a two-parent decision. Both must agree to do it. It is quite common for one spouse to be reluctant, but then to be turned around in about the first six months. But, I wouldn’t want to go it alone for much more than that. J

I don’t know how too many families do this. I know one family who has school very early in the morning, and on Saturdays, so that the father is there for about half of the schooling. We thought this was great ideally, but it turned out we weren’t that devoted. Our homeschooling has taken the other route, in which I, the wife, am actually in charge of most of it, and I delegate out. I pick usually two specific subjects or topics per week, and tell him to teach them to the kids sometime this week. If there’s nothing of his specialty I need taught that week, I’ll just tell him what we’re doing, and he’ll just go over it. This is nice because it allows the kids to hear it from another source, and from a person with a different perspective and different way of looking at learning that information. Different is good.

I update him at least once a week on how the kids are doing in various subjects. He has meetings with the kids and reviews that information with them at his convenience. Sometimes, we’ll cover something in school that I didn’t understand well, so it was glossed over. This is a perfect time to use that pitch-teacher to fill in and make sure the children get the full knowledge base for that lesson.

In addition to supplementing as needed, there are some categories that are entirely his domain. These are chosen based on the abilities and knowledge of each parent. For example, I get to teach science and reading, which I know inside and out, and he teaches electricity, circuits, and a lot of the math. He’s also completely in charge of cub scout (outdoor) activities such as building, camping, and bike riding.


I hope you’ve enjoyed this little starter course. Have a great first year!
Brooke Hack

My Search for Health, part 456,022,571,458

Written 3/19/07

Today, it’s time I tell you how my hormone research is going. I wanted to share this with you because you have helped me on my way, or because you might have something like what I have, and maybe some vein of my work can be of help to you. I don’t know your bodies, of course, so please don’t be offended that I sent this to you. Each of you is a very sweet and healthy person, and I do not attempt to make any assumptions about your medical needs. I just wanted to share what I learned about me, with you, in case any of it can be of help to you or anyone you know. That’s for your understanding. If you have any further questions I don’t resolve in this brief overview, just ask, I’m happy to explain.

The initial thing the doctor said I had is PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome. This is a general list of symptoms that could have many causes. I’ve been going to a natural bio-identical hormone doctor for 9 months now in attempt to correct it. He gave me bio-identical progesterone, thyroid (for energy), DHEA, and Metformin (to keep blood sugar and insulin levels low) and some other things that should’ve worked after 6 months max. But they didn’t. For some women, PCOS and added hormones with Metformin is all they need to begin having normal cycles again. If this is you, then don’t worry about the rest of this email.

The difference with me was that not only did normal hormone replacement not fix it, but that I’ve had bi-annual non-ovulating or non-existent cycles since I first hit puberty, so it’s not late onset, nor caused by stress factors or toxins in the environment like a lot of PCOS is. I started looking for causes that began earlier in my life. Here’s what I found that fit me:

Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia, also known as CAH. This is the version which is due to 21-hydroxylase deficiency, CAH 21-OH. My doctor immediately agreed with me that this is the only thing that could explain me. What a relief!

The Classical form means a woman has not exactly normal female genitalia. The non-classical form, which I have, means normal genitalia, but having other secondary male signs, such as too much body hair, too low progesterone, too high testosterone and androgens, and messed up or no cycles. For me, my estrogen is way too high in relation to my progesterone, and without a balance there, the FSH and LH can’t do it’s job to get me to ovulate. Without ovulating, I never make more progesterone, and the cycles exacerbates itself. The more estrogen dominance, the more I don’t ovulate, and the more weight the estrogen tells my body to store. To me, it seemed, something more wrong had to be going on.

On my blood tests, for your reference, I wasn’t really off the charts in too many places. My estrogen was normal. My progesterone was incredibly low, being low for a women in menopause and below the chart for a 33 year old such as myself. My testosterone was slightly above normal range. These results were all similar to blood tests I had done when I was a teenager. My cortisol level was low, but still there. While this might seem just fine, most people who have PCOS and are overweight have it because their cortisol levels are through the roof. Also, my fasting insulin and my blood sugar levels were also both low. This was further proven when I took Metformin at the doctor’s request, but it just kept making my blood sugar drop so low I had to eat constantly. Clearly I was in the category of women who exhibit PCOS symptoms without having pre-diabetes. If you have PCOS symptoms and show pre-diabetes, then Metformin and supplemental hormones is all you need to get balanced again. Many babies are reportedly conceived once a woman is on Metformin too. Be sure to keep taking it first trimester to avoid miscarriage.

However, for me, the normal treatment wasn’t really treating me. Most doctors would, and do, look at these blood test results and think it’s all in range, she’s fine. Some have told me I don’t need to ovulate unless I want to get pregnant. But I do want to ovulate to feel normal and healthy. Other, more mainstream doctors have said this to me, and my sister’s doctor has said it to her. But to me, not being able to ovulate without medicine isn’t fine. I want more kids, I want to feel more feminine, and I want to have my weight and size accurately reflect my diet and my exercise levels, not to just gain a lot of weight because I’ve stopped breastfeeding my youngest so it’s time for my cycles to stop and my weight to come on. Only when I was breastfeeding did I ever have normal, ovulatory cycles in my life. That was caused from the cortisol and progesterone created by my son’s placentas, which made me really skinny, energetic, and healthy after they were born. The effect remained as long as I breastfed, but no further.

There is further information about this at the links below.

By the way, Brittany and my sister Krysten, I don’t think you have any of this, since you get pregnant quite easily, I just wanted to include you in the email to keep you up on my research. J

The treatment for CAH, Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia is Cortisol, also known as hydrocortisol. The brand name of my prescription is Cortef.

Basically, I lack an enzyme, genetically and from before I was born, that is used to create Cortisol. Either both of my parents lack it and were recessively carriers, or just one of them and I am a “carrier” who shows symptoms. Doctors aren’t sure which way it happens yet. I haven’t had a DNA test, so I don’t know on me, but it doesn’t really matter. Or maybe I have one enzyme out of two, or something. I make some cortisol, but not nearly enough. Without enough, my energy levels and my ability to get up in the morning are gone, and I can’t convert this lacking cortisol into progesterone, so I become estrogen dominant and can’t ovulate and store too much fat. And, without enough cortisol, a feedback mechanism is missed that should tell my hypothalamus in my brain to stop produce excess DHEA and androgens (both of which are male hormones), so my body thinks it should make more and more of these, which it does. Cortisol is also used as energy, and to convert into progesterone, another way to balance my excess estrogen.

I’ve been on a very low dose of Cortef now for only 1.5 weeks. I haven’t even had time to see if I’ll have a normal cycle yet. But, it may take a few months, and I need to let you know what I learned, in case it can help you too. In the short time I’ve been on this, my energy level is more constant, I’ve stopped taking the supplemental thyroid the doctor gave me for energy because I don’t need it. All of a sudden, I think more clearly, and am more positive, and my old interests are returning, such as house maintenance, gardening, teaching the kids besides normal requirements for school, I even voluntarily baked something Saturday, which I haven’t done in at least a year. By the third day I had to lower my progesterone dose (I’ll keep taking it throughout, though), because my gums were telling me my dose was suddenly too high. Also, I no longer find many benefits from all the herbs I was taking to help lower my estrogen and balance it with progesterone. It feels like it’s happening with just the cortisol.

To test for this, if you want to: you’ll need to test blood for: 17-OHP (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/17-hydroxyprogesterone) which should be too high, or high but in range, because without cortisol you’re not converting this to progesterone. So sad. Also test cortisol levels, usually with a 24 hour urine test. It may not be through the floor, but will be uncharacteristically low if you have PCOS and especially if you are overweight. You could also test the enzyme listed on the wiki site.

Also note that CAH can present as if it were hypothyroidism or adrenal fatigue. Symptoms of hypothyroidism (low T) are actually a symptom of low Cortisol production, so that’s fine. Adrenal fatigue will refer to all of the hormones the adrenals produce (and it assumes you weren’t fatigued sometime in your life, so you had normal hormones when you were younger), whereas this only refers to one of them. We don’t want extra of the other adrenal hormones. For this purpose, don’t take anything from the Whole Foods or Wild Oats or Central Market listed as helping Adrenals. It will help too much in the wrong direction, CAH people only need Cortisol, they have plenty of the others. Also, don’t get anything that’s supposed to “help” with corisol levels, because in every case, it will be trying to LOWER your cortisol. If you have CAH, this is the opposite of what you want.

Males can also have this condition. The low levels of cortisol can effect energy levels, ability to think clearly, emotional balances, and the ability to get up early in the morning. In males there will be no physical changes and no negative effects on fertility.

This is genetic. Either one of both of my parents have this, and genetics says 1 to 2 of their kids should have it, while a 3rd child may be a non-symptomatic carrier. If I ever get pregnant with a girl, I will probably need to get amniocentesis to see if she has it too. If she does, I can take a medicine while in my 3rd month of pregnancy that will prevent her from either presenting with ambiguous genitalia or at the least just being like me, with adrenal glands and a hypothalamus which my body exposed to too much testosterone during my 3rd month of gestation, and therefore will never know how to generate a normal ovulatory cycle.

This is caused by the baby’s genetics, not the mother. This was proven by testing the amniotic fluid of the babies being tested, which is generated by the baby. The genetic difference is found there.

There are many presentations of CAH. Some women do have cycles, just not the most reliable. And may have other signs of low cortisol levels.

Oh, and by the way, and Kim you’re going to love this, since I’ve been on this medicine, my blood sugar almost never drops, whereas it used to drop all the time, and food was the only way to bring it up. Now, it only drops when I’m outside doing work, and therefore sweating a lot. I’ve found that some straight salt (though yucky) and some Gatorade, will make my feelings of low blood sugar completely go away. I don’t have to eat, just have some salt and water or Gatorade and I can work for another 2 hours. It’s amazing.

To find a doctor for the cortisol prescription, you can find a natural bio-identical hormone doctor, like I did. Or, you could find an endocrinologist who is aware of what CAH is. The trick is really finding someone who knows this condition exists. Even my sister’s natural bio-identical hormone doctor thought PCOS could only involve really high levels of cortisol, so my sister is still looking for treatment. If you are in Austin, and if you’re okay being treated over the phone, you can go to my doctor, who already knows all about this and was easy to prescribe cortisol to me after all of our research and failed treatments – Dr. Mike Clark, http://www.naturalbiohealth.com/. He can treat people in other states. All he does is talk to me, no exams. I go out of office to a lab for blood tests which are faxed back to him. And the prescriptions are either called into my pharmacy of choice (if they’re covered by insurance, like for Cortef and Metformin), or ordered for me and mailed straight to me (if they are compounding pharmacy hormones like progesterone). So, you don’t have to be in Texas to go this route. If you want to know more about him, and the one-time fee, just let me know.

Links for further research:
Wiki CAH http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CAH

Wiki CAH 21 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congenital_adrenal_hyperplasia_due_to_21-hydroxylase_deficiency

Wiki PCOS http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pcos

Magic Foundation for CAH http://magicfoundation.org/www/docs/100.106/congenital_adrenal_hyperplasia.html

The role of natural progesterone in PCOS. http://www.ovarian-cysts-pcos.com/progesterone.html

Chapter 39 of an online book. See page 19 of 23 in the pdf, which is page 702 in the book. The graphic on that page is a perfect representation of the effects of insufficient cortisol production on the body. http://connection.lww.com/products/rhoades/documents/smch39.pdf


Have a great day!
Brooke

Sunlight: Revisited

Last December, I wrote a blog about how much I didn't like Summer sunlight. In that article, I also pondered any possible significance of my really light skin and northern european ancestry in relation to sunlight. Only a few days after I wrote that blog, I realized I was probably wrong, and began a new theory, a theory which, I realized, I should get around to telling you.

In researching some hormone imbalances I naturally have, I learned that deficiency in Vitamin D and D3, which are hormones created through exposure to sunlight, can actually create hormone imbalances. Now, you might think this would mean my hormones are only off balance in the winter, and for people with Seasonal Affective Disorder, this is true. However, for me, it's been different. I was raised in the beautiful, but very hot, deserts of NW Tucson, Arizona. One time, when I was a teenager, I flew to Utah to visit a friend. It was some summer month, such as August, and when I arrived to Utah, there were people outside, everywhere! They were playing sports in the middle of the afternoon, they were walking around, they were okay being outside. I'd never seen this in my life during the afternoon in a summer month (of which Tucson has about 7). In Tucson, we only went outside in the afternoon from about October (or September when it is raining) to April. From about May to September, it's too hot to be outside any more than necessary. I wondered if this lack of outdoor exercise was affecting this Tucsonan's health and hormone balances. I did go hiking whenever the temperature allowed, when it was below 95, which excludes about 4 or 5 months of the year. Anyway, there was another consequence of the desert heat and sun that I didn't realize until now. Us Tucsonans, me, my sisters, my parents, my husband, his sister, and all of our friends, all learned that outside and sunlight is bad. Light meant heat, and vice versa. The heat was too much, and the sun can just give you cancer, and it can do that more quickly than anywhere else in the world besides Australia. We learned these things were bad.

Now I've been in Texas for coming up on 8 years. And I'm finally starting to realize that the sun isn't bad. And that being outside in the summer is sometimes possible. It's winter now, so we don't get a lot of sun, so I've been testing this theory. I've been outside for at least 30 minutes on each day when there is sunlight. And sure enough, the sun makes me feel happier, more balanced, and more full of energy.

At first glance, I'm realizing that it's also possible that my initial aversion to sunlight is just like anyone's initial love of candy and/or chocolate. Your senses tell you it's wonderful, but it's not actually good for your body and you have to pace yourself. Maybe it's the opposite with sunlight, that at first it's uncomfortable, but in reality, that's because it's so good for you.

I've also been wondering the significance of my really light skin. I thought it meant I could gather Vitamin D more quickly because where my ancestors come from there isn't much sunlight. And while that is true, there are other people, such as Eskimos and Siberians, who lived at the same northern latitudes as my ancestors who don't look like me. So, I'm postulating, what if I have light skin because I NEED more Vitamin D than others? Not only that I can get it more easily than Sub-Saharans, who are exposed to more, and maybe that's true, but what if, in addition to that, I need more than they do? Or, that I need to be extra sure that I get enough Vitamin D, in order to balance my hormones! Because maybe my body is more sensitive to hormone mishaps when the sunlight stops coming. It's an exciting theory that happily gets me outdoors a lot more lately.

My hormone doctor thinks I might be low on Vitamin D3 anyway, and since it's hard to supplement it just right, I'm trying to get more sunlight to see if it helps. I didn't used to feel any compulsion to get any sunlight, ever, so this is an exciting change for me. I'm finally starting to see why people like to just lay around at the beach and soak up the sun. I'm just glad it's winter now, though, so I can take baby steps.

The other advantage to it being winter right now, with fewer hours of sunlight and more indirect rays of light, is that I can't get sunburned like I could after 20 minutes of sun exposure in the summer, even in Texas. I'm going to try to prove a theory.....

Please excuse me if I make a geology analogy. Lakes shouldn't exist in normal geology. The existence of a lake is an anomaly. This is because water naturally falls from a cloud, to the ground, then flows down to the ocean. A lake means it was stopped in this process. And eventually, when enough geologic time passes, the lake will turn into a stream to get that water back to the ocean in a more efficient manner. Same with waterfalls, they are the earth's temporary way of creating a river. With Niagara Falls, for example, the falls are a result of the river adjusting to the massive heigh differences between Lakes Ontario and Erie. Erie is much higher than Ontario, which it flows to, so the water falls to get to it, and then on to the ocean. But, the falls are moving backward, upward towards Lake Erie. Eventually, when the falls back up to their mother lake, a beautiful, and probably devastating deluge will come as Lake Erie spills into the lower river that the falls have created. After the deluge, the waterfall will be gone, and the Great Lakes will be much more efficient at draining to the ocean. Eventually, they will finish their job, and no longer be lakes. Because lakes shouldn't exist in normal geology.

My point is that God, and thereby Nature, finds a way for everything to work. I'm wondering lately if a sunburn shouldn't exist in normal human behavior. What if you are outside every day for several hours every day from the beginning of spring on to summer? Is it possible that you will acclimate to the sun, that you will tan, and be properly protected from the sunlight when the peak of summer hits? I'm not saying I'm going to outdoors all day each summer day to prove this, I do still know that sunburns and skin cancer can happen, but I'm going to try to be outdoors a lot more than I used to throughout this coming spring. I will not stay out any longer if my skin starts getting pink. I'm just talking about being in the sun during that time prior to the skin turning pink. Please don't take this and overdo it and get burned or worse.

I always like to figure out how people were intended to live. And one thing's for sure, until recently, they definitely didn't spend 90% of their time indoors.

In this modern life I lead, it's quite possible that other than walking to and from the car, if I don't go on walks outside, if I don't work in my garden, and if I don't take my kids to the park, all of which are tempting, I'd never be outside! It must be even harder for people who work indoors every day to see the sun. I'm not saying it's wrong, it's what I've done my whole life. But maybe, my body is trying to tell me that I need more sunlight than I've been getting.

It can't be such a bad thing anyway, I'll get more exercise, my yard will look great, I'll feel better, my skin (hopefully) will be darker and my hair will be lighter. So, I'll look good. I'm all in favor of that!

The following is an excerpt from Mitt Romney's Presidencial Announcement from this morning, as posted on Drudge Report. This part is about focusing on families, which I really like. I wanted to share it with all of you.

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GOVERNOR MITT ROMNEY'S PRESIDENTIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Tue Feb 13 2007 08:31:33 ET

"At America's core are millions of individual families: families of children and parents, aunts and uncles and cousins, grandparents, foster parents. There is no work more important for our nation's future than the work done in the home.

"But the work done in the home isn't getting easier. Values and morals that have long shaped the development of our children are under constant attack. In too many cases, schools are failing. For some, healthcare is inadequate. Family expenses and government taxes take a larger and larger bite. America cannot continue to lead the family of nations if we fail the families at home.

"How is the American family made stronger? With marriage before children. With a mother and a father in the life of every child. With healthcare that is affordable and portable. With schools that succeed. With taxes that are lower. And with leaders who strive to demonstrate enduring values and morality. "This was the agenda I pursued as Governor of Massachusetts. This is the agenda I will pursue if elected President.

"When I was a boy, the American dream meant a house in the suburbs. The American dream today must mean more than a house. The new American dream should include a strong family, enduring values, excellence in education, dependable and affordable healthcare, secure employment and secure retirement, and a safe and prosperous homeland. It's time to build a new American dream for all of America's families.

"How will this new American dream be built? Our hopes and dreams will inspire us, for we are an optimistic people. But hope alone is just crossing fingers, when what we need is industrious hands. It is time for hope and action. It is time to do, as well as to dream!"

Pictures: Ice Storm and B&B

Here are pictures of the Famous Ice Storm from last month. Here you can see the icicles from our plants, and lining our trees.

See the top of the picture here for long icicles.

Here are some pictures from our trip to Fredericksburg at the end of December. The first picture is from a Christmas display they had out in the city.

Here the kids are looking around a garden / store area that focused on herbs.


This is the Bed & Breakfast we stayed at. Rose Hill Manor. It was very nice. Our room was the top three windows on the right. You can almost see our side windows, on the far right, that we left open. The bottom floor seen here is the restaurant.

This is the view driving away from Rose Hill Manor. Beautiful land! We got to walk around and look at the deer.

Wrong Planet post

The following is from a post I left on the Wrong Planet forum: http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.html?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=24760
in which the question was raised about how much an Aspie (person with Austism/Asperger's syndrome) can learn to act like a normal (NT) person.... by the way, my name on the site is an abbreviated form of my middle name: Laynie.


Kensho, I think this is a great question you brought up. I am also an adult aspie with a high IQ, undiagnosed as a child, who spent her entire life learning to mimic NT behavior. I call it acting, and I've learned that this "acting" I do is the best way to translate me to everyone else. Since there's more of them than me, I have trained myself to talk their language, so to speak. I also like learning languages, so I guess that's why I relate the two.

I have come to feel that if I want people to understand me, it's my job to translate myself. For example, my normal internally-driven response to a lady saying hi to me would be to either say nothing and not even look at her, or to start talking about whatever was on my mind, such as maps or weather patterns. If I were to talk to her at all it would be because I wanted to socialize, even though I wouldn't know how to acheive that socialization I wanted. However, I learned in elementary school that this response does not garner a continued conversation. It makes people walk away and not say hi to you next time. So, over the course of my 33 years, I've learned what to do instead. When a woman says hi to me, and I feel like socializing (not always, but much of the time) I will stop and put all my focus into watching her mouth to see what she says. I will then use some of my stored reponses to create the "feeling" she was going for, such as "how are you?" or "great weather" or that's a nice shirt (that one goes over well). In my early 20's I found this to be incredibly insulting, and I thought that acting was lying. However, lately, in my older age, I realize that these things are important ways of helping others feel accepted and happy. So I happily adopt the "language" to translate my good feelings of friendship into words that the other person will interpret as "she's nice and she's being nice to me", which is, after all, my goal. Then, when the other person says similar things back to me, I will run it through my "translator" which will tell me that the other person is nice, and that she's trying to be nice to me. After the translation, these things make me very happy. Therefore, communication has been achieved.

Apparently, I have practically mastered this plan. I was a complete social outcast for the first 26 or so years of my life. And now, at 33, I've completely fooled everyone I know into thinking I'm not only normal, but very nice and (some people even think) very social. They just don't know how hard I work at it. And that every three days or so I need a major break from humans in order to "recharge" my translator. When I'm wound down, I can't translate at all, which is very difficult for all parties involved, because even though I may feel happy and want to express appreciation for the other person, none comes out. They think I'm mad at them, and they get mad at me, which makes me actually mad. So, when I'm too worn out to translate, it's best to rest from people until I can do it properly again.

Sometimes I impress myself. Yesterday, I socialized at a high level of good translating for a total of 5 hours yesterday, which is incredibly good. Usually, my total is 2 hours a day. The trick is that today I have meetings and such, and it will total about 4 hours of socializing and communicating today, so by tomorrow I'll probably need to stay home with my kids all day and rest from any human who is not my child or my husband. And even then I won't be talking too much. But, if I do that, then by Friday I'll be recharged again and can go run lots of errands and negotiate the traffic and the crowds just fine.

I'm so good at this, that occasionally, when conversation turns to concern about how the neighborhood Aspie children are being treated by their parents as practical invalids, I get so upset about the limits that are being placed on these kids' potentials that, in order to make my point of what an Aspie's potential really is, I go ahead and tell the person that I, too am an Aspie, just like that kid. They NEVER believe me. I have become quite the actress!

So, to answer your question, yes I believe it's possible to "learn" NT behavior. Your question about if it relates to IQ and fight or drive is a good one. I have plenty of both, so all I can do is confirm your theory that those things are helpful or essential to gain this skill.

I have also been wondering about upbringing lately. Like I said, I see many children now who are diagnosed and whose parents are walking on eggshells around them. All the parents talk about is the child's disorders, they don't talk about the child. They tell me (not knowing I'm an Aspie) all the things the child won't be able to do in life -- all things that I have done. And I'm becoming quite enraged about it of late. I was treated like a completely normal child, because there was no diagnosis in those years. Same with all adult Aspies. If I had known I had an excuse, and if I had known how much damn harder it was for me to learn those things compared to others, there's no way I would have worked so hard. It was hard! But I did it because I honestly thought I was normal and that hiding my "tendencies" was essential to the life I wanted to lead. Well, it turns out I was absolutely correct about the latter.

So, I would like to add this question to Kensho's... are psychologists and therefore parents (who obey their doctors) doing younger Aspie's a huge disfavor by allowing them to know they are different and by exempting them from normal social events in life, such as playtime, Cub Scouts, overnight trips with Youth organizations, and the opportunity of being treated like a person with unlimited potential?

........................................................
Then, Kensho said some really good things, including this: "Seems to me that AS kids should be "mainstreamed" as much as possible. Yes, give them extra help to cope with social or whatever other issues they might have, but don't treat them like they are disabled. Bump up their self-esteem by giving them enrichment classes in things they are good at. Just give them some "tools" and turn them loose."

.......................................................
To which I responded:

Yes, I totally agree Kensho. Looks like we're on the same page about this. Aspie children should be mainstreamed as much as possible. Now, I do homeschool, and I think that's partically because I like to teach and partially because public school was so hard on me. I choose to homeschool before I knew I was an Aspie. I thought everyone hated classrooms and loved to learn from books like me. So, after I was diagnosed, I had to be sure I was homeschooling for the right reasons. We determined that we could do a better job of teaching them than public school could, so that means I still get to homeschool, even though I realize now that my children wouldn't have hated the classroom environment as much as I did. But, now that I believe in mainstreaming socially more than I used to, now that I know all the benefits it actually gave me, that I didn't appreciate at the time, I'm actively keeping my kids involved with other kids. We go to group park days, violin lessons, Cub Scouts, church activities, and have friends who come over to play, such that they are at social events 4-5 days per school week. It's very hard on me, since I don't need that much socialization, but I know it's important and the right thing to do. My kids are NTs, normal, but I know I would treat them the same whether they were Aspies or not. The only difference is that I would be more direct in teaching rules of social behavior if I had an Aspie child. I would expect all of the same high standards. Indeed, if they were like me, I would expect the child to excel highly in one or two subjects as well.

My 7 year old son has an Aspie girlfriend (one of his 2 girlfriends, 7 year olds are so cute!), who seems normal to me (but my husband says it makes sense that I see Aspie's as being normal), and that poor girl's mom will not LET her be normal. They homeschool too, and we met them at a homeschoolers' park day. But that mom told us (again, not knowing I'm an Aspie) that they do 4 hours of therapy a day! And that most days they only do 30 minutes or zero actual homeschooling. This poor girl is actually giving up her education over it!

Another family I know has two Austistic kids. One Aspie and one very low IQ Autist. They won't let those kids do anything. I'm the leader of the large children's organization in our church. There are about 100 kids and adult leaders under me. One organization I'm over is Cub Scouts, and that family won't LET their boys be in Cub Scouts. The mom says "well, they can't keep up physically, so I don't want them to be let down." We keep telling them that their child won't be left behind, that the leaders are very sensitive and that he doesn't even have to keep up with the requirements, he'll have an exception. They won't do it. It's so heartbreaking to me. Especially for the high IQ Aspie boy, because I know his potential! I keep wanting to yell at the top of my lungs: Look! I'm the leader of this entire organization, and I'm an Aspie. Look how much I learned, look how much I can do. I organize people, and take care of them emotionally, I lead meetings, I decide many things to take care of all of those people. Surely your boy can figure out how to attend a Scout Meeting!!!

Then I saw this video on You Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_R_CUxrZ8I&mode=related&search= in which a dad of an Aspie boy, who seems at first to be a nice man, literally lists, for several minutes, all the things his boy will never do. And it's a ridiculous list, beginning around 4:20 in the video, saying he would never have best friends, participate in sports, have girlfriends, fall in love, kiss, have acedemic achievements, graduate from college, get into medical school, get married, or get a job. Made me crazy!!! I had all those things, well, except medical school, but that was by choice. I could have if I had wanted to. I learned so much about medicine on my own that I voluntarily gave birth to my 2nd son at home, alone, with just my husband and my 1st son here, because I learned everything a person needs to know for every possible birth complication.

For anyone that wants to help me on this Crusade, look at this depressing and pathetic video. They show pictures of their boy, and play pensive music, as if he's dead. It's so sad. After hearing these parents, I can't believe that the boy and I have the same types of brains. I just praise the Lord that I had different parents. My mom just kept teaching me my whole childhood, both things I wanted to learn, like the sciences I was interested in, and things I needed to learn, like social rules. My mom gave me endless support and encouragement. That's what an Aspie child needs, not a parent who's decided early on all the lists of things that the child will never be able to do.

Wow, sorry that's so negative. I'm really in a good mood today, it's just this topic has been developing in my mind this past week and I really needed to get it out. Thanks so much for your posts today, Kensho.

On Getting Married

I was just talking to a girlfriend of mine the other day, who is heavily into the dating and seeking a mate phase in her life, and I found myself telling her why I got married, so today I'm going to tell it to you.

Marriage is a very good thing to do, and it is something that I highly recommend. My husband, Brian, and I just passed our 12th anniversary, so I hope I've gained some clout on this subject. I see lots of people living together these days, some sharing a life, but, I guess, not quite sure if they want to commit. Others, living together permanently; that's their arrangement for life. I know some people are more comfortable with this, and I will try to enlarge my understanding to attempt to comprehend this. Prior to our marriage, my husband and I were the types of people who wanted to be married. Married, I should say, is different than living together, soul mated, or bonded for life.

On the last episode of "Mad About You', Paul Reiser's show on TV in the early 90's, Paul's father was complementing him on seven years of marriage. However, he and his wife had just learned that the person who married them wasn't really qualified to marry them, so, accidentally, they really hadn't been married all that time. (I know, it's a silly plot twist.) At that point, the couple freaked out and immediatly weren't sure how much of a couple they were. Paul's father said: "Wow, seven years, that's not nothing!" In response, Paul asked "now what if we hadn't been married that whole time?" And his father said "well, that would be nothing."

I know it's only a pretend TV show, but it illustrates my point. I've seen many non-married couples stay together for years, longer than some marriges even: living together, "consummating" their relationship, sharing cars, friends, and finances. But what I always want to know is: are they a family? Do they spend all of their days, or even some of their days, concentrating on concern that the relationship might not last? What happens if children come unexpectedly? are they welcomed automatically or is it a stressful time? Will children complicate things because you have to decide what last name to give them and who gets custody? If jobs change, or if you have to move far away, does the couple stay together in the move, or is that something to split over? Is it hard to share family duties because each party has a sense of self instead of a sense of working for the marriage? Is it true that the man sometimes thinks: why should I buy the cow if I can get the milk for free? For this last question, I think it is true because I've seen it more than once in my friends. And when the flow of milk stops, the man leaves. The woman is left looking for a mate again, but now with more of her life and childbearing years gone.

I didn't mean to offend anyone there with those questions, they weren't directed at anyone in particular, they are just things I wonder when I see perma-dating friends of mine. It motivated me to tell you what I know. If you are not sure if you are with the right person, wait and be sure. Please don't be with the wrong person just to be married, that's not what I'm advocating. I am rather speaking to those people who are already in a relationship with the right person. And for those of you who aren't sure which group you are in, please note, identifying a person as the right or wrong person to marry shouldn't take longer than a year.

When did I know? Here's what I wanted to tell you. Brian and I were in love, and twitterpated, which, yes, dulls the logic and reasoning. However, we had another clue. After several months of dating, but less than half a year, we finally reached a point where we couldn't stand to be apart from each other. Not only was it quite painful to have to return to different houses at night -- we are the kind that didn't live together or consummate our relationship prior to marriage -- but we knew we wanted to be with the other person every day for the forseeable future. That's enough, that's all it takes: Love, Friendship, Wanting to be togehter every day, and being over age 18.

Some might say it takes money, and I've found that to be both true and untrue. It is true in that you need to be able to provide for the basics in life, such as housing, food, and clothing. When Brian and I announced our engagement to his father, he immediately sat us down at his table and had us show him our financial plan. And he was right. It may not take loads of money, but it does take the ability to be able to budget, plan, and spend money wisely. I have heard that financial problems are the 2nd leading cause of divorce, so plan out your finances carefully. However, I believe it is not true that large amounts of money need to be saved first. They are not needed, you do not need to buy a large house or have a huge and lavish wedding at the beginning of a marriage. These are things that can be worked for together as you share your life and as you grow in love and in financial power. Some people have tiny weddings, you can always have a large party a few years later, or every anniversary, to celebrate your union. We had a tiny wedding, spent about $130 total, which included my dress, a small grocery store cake, and a few roses. They don't all have to be this small, we were very poor in college, but it's an illustration to point out that marriage and a wedding don't always have a lot to do with each other.

How'd it turn out? Great! We have a great marriage. We are still best friends and still in love. We have two kids so far, and we want more someday. We don't agree on everything, or even a lot of things. But we didn't get married to be with our identical twin. We find we are attracted to the differences in each other. We find that it's okay to disagree and do things our own ways. We are living together, and sharing our lives, but we do not do everything together, nor do we want to. We have some interests that are the same, and some that are different. I love my life, my husband, my family, and my marriage, and I wouldn't change it for the world!

To sum up: If you know who you would marry if you had to choose, then you're probably ready to get married.

Happy Birthday to Me

Hi there. Yes, it's my birthday today. That'll be fun, I'm looking forward to it. I wanted to update you on what we've been doing this month.

For Christmas, we stayed home, barely did gifts as usual, then a few days after the holiday, we went to a bed and breakfast out in the country and stayed for 2 days. It was very nice, a perfect reset for the new year. We went here: http://www.rose-hill.com/, if you’d like to see pictures.

Also, we just bought a car. It’s been a busy two weeks with all the car buying research and work. I had a Dodge Caravan, and Brian had a Nissan Pickup, a tiny truck. The whole family can’t fit in his truck, which only seats 2 people, so that causes some troubles sometimes. So, we’ve been planning for months now that he needs a bigger car, but we kept putting it off. Then, two weeks ago on Friday night he was driving home from work and someone yelled at him at a stopsign, “can I buy your car?” And no, he didn’t have any kind of “for sale” sign on his car! He just really wanted a small truck and said they are in high demand right now, and he was having trouble finding one. So they pulled over and talked, later that night, we sold him the car and he paid in cash. We were just as shocked as anyone. We'd been meaning to sell the car, but we kept putting it off.

This guy paid just over blue book, which was great. Then we looked a cars for Brian online for a week. Mostly Honda Accords. Brian decided he likes Hondas this time. After a few days of that, I pointed out that after this car for him, that the next car would have to be for me. The Dodge van that I have to drive with the kids is way too big for me, I’m too short for it, and can’t reach things, and the steering wheel hits my legs if I move it low enough for my arms, and I just don’t like it, plus it’s already up to 90,000 miles. I told him after this car, that maybe the next car could be the Honda Odyssey that I want. He said you want a Honda van? Ya. So we looked them up on the used car section of kbb.com that we were using to look at Accords, and it turned out that if you get an Odyssey that is a few years old, they’re the same price as the car we were looking at. Then it was just a matter of fitting two vans in our garage. So we measured it and tested the garage with our Dodge, and they both would fit, so it was done. We would get an Odyssey, then I could get the new car, which is much better for a woman and kids, and he could get the Dodge, which he’s always liked, and which is a safer car, and a car that can travel to San Antonio when we need to. His truck wasn’t trustworthy enough to do that.

All of this internet research we did was in the middle of an ice storm here, in which the whole city shut down for three days because there was ice on every road, and it wasn’t safe to drive. It's usually above freezing here so no one has chains or other preparations to drive in ice. Companies and school districts for hundreds of miles all shut down for three days. Brian was supposed to fly to California for work. That got delayed by a day and some hours, but he finally flew out once the airport received enough de-icing solution. While he was gone, I went to look at the car I’d picked online with the fewest miles and the lowest price. I loved it. The guy wanted to sell it to me, of course. He said “what do I need to do to make this happen”, I told him we had to wait two days until Brian was back in town. Long story short, we bought it on Saturday. Here’s what it looks like:
http://cars.com/go/search/detail.jsp;jsessionid=EDYMDKZG30XOTLAYIEXE2UY?tab=photos&paId=219298718&recnum=&actLog=true&tracktype=usedcc&pageNumber=&numResultsPerPage=&largeNumResultsPerPage=0&sortorder=descending&sortfield=PRICE&certifiedOnly=false&criteria=&aff=national

That’s not the actual car, or the dealer or the year, or anything. It's just the manufacturer's pictures, but it looks like that. Anyway, we’re quite spoiled now, it’s got automatic doors, and a DVD player, and leather seats. I don’t know how we got the price we did

A Time to Share, and a Time to Refrain from Sharing

I know I'm very behind on my blogs. Sorry about that. I guess things got busy. I'll fill you in soon. In the mean time, I'd like to tell you that two days ago was the 2 year anniversary of when I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. For those of you still figuring out what that means, I found a great list of descriptions from the wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

This list is all very true and real in my life. Especially times like this past week, in which a lot of social interaction was required, and my acting ability (my learned skills of acting and talking like a normal person in order to be understood by others) just went the way of the dodo. This is explained by number 17 below.

Fortunately, most of yesterday's chores and errands involved only breif conversations, so I've been able to restore my ability to act and interpret, and should be a lot more social again by tomorrow. This makes me happy. I like to be social. I feel trapped and sad when I know I can't do it just right and I might not convey the correct responses when a friend is talking to me. I don't want to hurt their feelings or make them think that I don't care. But if I don't try really hard, that's what will happen.

The following is from the wiki site listed above:

In Asperger's Syndrome, Intervening in Schools, Clinics, and Communities, Tony Attwood categorizes the many ways that lack of "theory of mind" can negatively impact the social interactions of people with Aspergers:

1. Difficulty reading the social and emotional messages in the eyes - People with AS don't look at eyes often, and when they do, they can't read them.

2. Making literal interpretation - AS individuals have trouble interpretting colloquialisms, sarcasm, and metaphors.

3. Being considered disrespectful and rude - Prone to egocentric behavior, individuals with Aspergers miss cues and warning signs that this behavior is inappropriate.

4. Honesty and deception - Children with Aspergers are often considered "too honest" and have difficulty being deceptive, even at the expense of hurting someone's feelings.

5. Becoming aware of making social errors - As children with Aspergers mature, and become aware of their mindblindness, their fear of making a social mistake, and their self-criticism when they do so, can lead to social phobia.

6. A sense of paranoia - Because of their mindblindness, persons with Aspergers have trouble distinguishing the difference between the deliberate or accidental actions of others, which can in turn lead to a feeling of paranoia.

7. Managing conflict - Being unable to understand other points of view can lead to inflexibility and an inability to negotiate conflict resolution. Once the conflict is resolved, remorse may not be evident.

8. Awareness of hurting the feelings of others - A lack of empathy often leads to unintentionally offensive or insensitive behaviors.

9. Repairing someone's feelings - Lacking intuition about the feelings of others, people with AS have little understanding of how to console someone or how to make them feel better.

10. Recognizing signs of boredom - Inability to understand other people's interests can lead AS persons to be inattentive to others. Conversely, people with AS often fail to notice when others are uninterested.

11. Introspection and self-consciousness - Individuals with AS have difficulty understanding their own feelings or their impact on the feelings of other people.

12. Clothing and personal hygiene - People with AS are unaffected by peer pressure. As a result, they often do what is comfortable and are unconcerned about their impact on others.

13. Reciprocal love and grief - Since people with AS react more practically than emotionally, their expressions of affection and grief are often short and weak.

14. Understanding of embarrassment and faux pas - Although persons with AS have an intellectual understanding of embarrassment and faux pas, they are unable to grasp concepts on an emotional level.

15. Coping with criticism - People with AS are compelled to correct mistakes, even when they are made by someone in a position of authority, such as a teacher. For this reason, they can be unwittingly offensive.

16. Speed and quality of social processing - Because they respond through reasoning and not intuition, AS individuals tend to process social information more slowly than the norm, leading to uncomfortable pauses or delays in response.

17. Exhaustion - As people with AS begin to understand theory of mind, they must make a deliberate effort to process social information. This often leads to mental exhaustion.

Happy Christmas

I'm happy to tell you that after a week or so on goldenseal, my father is finally feeling better. He was sick and antibiotics just couldn't kick it, but he's feeling better now. Someone asked him on Friday if he used to be a radio DJ (which he did), so then he knew his voice was really coming back. He's up and around and feeling much better. I'm just glad that there is standard medicine and there is alternative medicine, because sometimes you need one and sometimes the other. It's great to have the options to choose from so that you can do what's best for whatever ailment you have.

I hope you're all having a great Christmas. I think I figured out today why we have Christmas. I know the main thing is to celebrate Christ, and we should have a day for that. But I like to think I'm a person who feels the same in my worship and love for Christ every day of the year. So, I thought maybe it was the gift exchange, to learn to give and to recieve, which is good, and also I thought maybe it's time off, to rest and have a break from working, which it is also, in my opinion. But I realized today it's mainly a time to stop and take the day to really let your family know that you love them, and have a day to just connect, and not be bothered by work while you're connecting. That's why, I think, we have Christmas. Anyway, that's why I'm enjoying myself today. :-)

Ready for pictures? I thought you were.....

This is the great bed tent that my dad got for Sam for his birthday. He LOVES it! Thanks Dad!

We put it on top of his bed, then put all his blankets inside, and of course, all of his stuffed animals. He sleeps with the screen door open, but don't worry, even if he shuts it, it's half lined with screens anyway, so he gets plenty of circulation.

Here's just the three dogs and one bear that he left in there today and didn't take downstairs to Christmas dinner. :-)

Here's Brian's remote controlled car that he ordered for his birthday, and just arrived last week. Well, they sent a pink one on time, but we held out for the blue one! This thing goes 40 mph! He loves it.

Here the boys are opening gifts from Aunt Kim. Kim home made (somehow) these amazing hangers with a beautifully painted surface with their names on it! Amazing.

Look how beautiful! My family is so artistic!

Here, Alex is checking out a book of Sudoku for kids. His grandma knows him well!


Sam is showing us his new sweater!

Here, the presents are opened, and the kids are completely occupied learning what they can do. Here, they are checking out a new magnet set from Aunt Bridget.

So, Christmas was nice. The only bad thing is that the sun went down just now while I was creating this blog. I meant to go on a nice walk outside. It's beautiful out there. Cold, though, like 50 today, so maybe I should walk on the treadmill instead. I'm just so happy I can walk. All of November and part of December I had two sprained ankles, then my hips got so bad from my misaligned foot that I really couldn't walk. I had to time myself and make sure I didn't walk too much per day. I had two podiatrists and a physical therapist all tell me that I had to stop exercising until the ankles healed and my custom made shoe insert orthotics arrived. Well, that time has come! The ankles are better, mostly, and the orthotics came last Monday. They are comfortable, moreso than the non-custom ones were, but they made me feel like I was leaning to the left all the time. This just shows how twisted my foot and hips were! I was told I could use the orthotics 2 hours the first day, then 3 the next, and so forth. By the end of the second day, I couldn't walk any more even without shoes. Even bone in my body, especially my neck, but also my back, hips, and foot bones, were all realigning. It was a big deal. By Thursday, I could walk!! Not forever or anything, and definitely not without pain (still not there yet), but without the stabbing hip pain I could go for several hours. And by Friday, I found that I didn't have to sit at every possible available seating area. Amazing. It's been years since my hips and feet allowed that. I told Brian it will really take some time to get used to. Saturday I went on my nice long walk that I love. I missed it for all of December, so I went, even thought it was POURING rain. There were very few other really devoted people there. It's been two, almost two and a half days since then and those shoes are still completely soaked. It was fun!

So, I'll still be sore and adjusting and everything for a few more weeks, but it's so amazing to know it will never have to be that bad again. I feel like, I don't know. It really feels like I had a horrible chronic lifelong condition, which I guess I did, that I am suddenly allowed to be cured of! It's amazing. How's that for a great Christmas present from God. I'm just so grateful. I love walking. I look forward over the next few weeks to getting better at walking longer distances like I used to. I also look forward to being able to comfortably stand in one place while talking to someone. I can't remember the last time that felt good. Anyway, it's amazing how life can arrange things to make you so darn grateful for such basic things. But when a basic thing is ever returned, the gratitude is overwhelming. My hip pain is the recent development of this, since my pregnancies, but my left foot and calf have hurt since I was about ten. I really needed orthotics! I'm so happy!! Last night we all cleaned the house, and I did two hours of cleaning straight, without having to sit down in the middle or take pain medication. Really, that hasn't happened in about two years. The past few months, I couldn't even clean for more than 30 minutes in a whole day. This is really going to improve the quality of my family's life. :-)

What else... Let's see. I'm going to get a watch for Christmas. I ordered it online because the exact one I wanted wasn't in the stores. I love watches, so I'm excited about it. I'm going to try to take some days off from Primary work this week, but it'll have to wait till Wednesday. Not only is it the end of the year, so we have to prepare all the teachers and new classes for next year, but in two weeks we will move to a new building and gain about 150 new people in the ward thanks to ward boundary reorganization that we very much needed. :-) We'll have lots of new kids and new leaders available which I'm so happy about, but the changes do mean there is a lot of work over this holiday season. Good thing I'm taking most of this week off first. Brian and I can have some much deserved relaxation time. And, our favorite, re-getting-to-know-you time! :-)

Love you all. Have a great winter and new year!

Avoiding or Getting Over Illnesses

Many people get many illnesses this time of year. Some have requested that I tell you possible things to do about it. So, here you are:

Most of the things on this list are usually indicated to cut off the beginnings of a cold; to shorten the duration. And while that is the best method, for those of you who are already sick, don't worry, you can still do them and they will still help. This is because the things listed below will not treat symptoms, or even directly attack the bug, but rather will strengthen your immune system so that you can do it yourself, more effectively.

Also, if you are currently on any prescribed medication, either for this cold/infection, or for anything else, please continue to take it. The alternative remedies I will list are like backdoors to the illness. While we use them, we still want all the help we can get from the front lines.

This first group is a list of the essentials. Very powerful and necessary things to stay healthy. The second list is optionals, extra things you can do if you’d really like to prevent or eliminate your illness.

GROUP ONE: ESSENTIALS

Goldenseal: The tincture form works best, capsules are also available. This is by far the best for infections. I've made my own sinusitis go away with this. Please not that as with anything you'll take, it takes a while to clear up all the congestion, but at least it gets better. The goldenseal is nature's antibiotic, it kills anything. It's amazing.

Sambucol (name brand), black elderberry syrup: Also amazing. This is essentially juice of a certain berry. This juice alone can cure colds! I've staved off three colds this month just by drinking this stuff. It cures sore throats, has lots of vitamin C, and most importantly, is specifically good at treating respiratory illnesses.

Traditional Medicinals herbal teas (name brand): This company has three or four teas you'll be interested in. 1) Echinacea Elder has elderberry in it and is for colds that include respiratory problems. 2) Echinacea Plus is three kinds of echinacea, and is also good. 3) Throat Coat may not help you heal, but will definitely help a sore and dry throat. 4) Breathe Easy is just for respiratory ailments. The box says it's only for upper respiratory, which means your nose, but when my husband gets sick and has a tight chest, he says it does wonders for him. I like to combine three teas in 2 cups of hot water. Let it cool before drinking, or add ice after ten minutes of steeping. Sweeten with honey to further help a sore throat and to provide a little more anti-inflammatory properties. Take this tea 2 to 4 times a day.

Zinc: Zinc is very strong and very useful in helping your body become resistant to illnesses. Zinc lozenges with vitamin C and echinacea are available in a great cherry flavor. Take several of these a day. Zinc is better absorbed into the body through the inside of the mouth straight to the blood system than into the stomach where the liver can cancel it out.

Zicam: The best form of zinc, and a great way to boost the immune system in addition to goldenseal and sambucol is zicam. Zicam (name brand) makes a nasal gel that is absorbed into the inner lining of the nose. No, this doesn't hurt or sting like I thought it would. I have the spray. You just spray it, wait one minute, then blow your nose. No big deal, but do that one to three times a day and you'll suddenly fight off diseases everyone else is getting. They also have a losenge type, and a throat spray, but those two formats of delivery are not only not as effective, but also they didn't put all the medicine in those two formulas. Stick with the two nasal deliveries.

Note: Zicam (name brand) also sells cold medicine, which is like normal medicine in that it treats the symptoms of the cold. You'll need to know the difference between the cold medicine (day and night versions) and the immune system booster. Another note: once you do get sick, taking decongestants is not usually the best way to go, because it causes the congestion to stay in you which is how it gets infected leading to sinusitis and pneumonia. However, the Zicam Cold & Flu Daytime spoon dose medicine (liquid medicine in plastic spoons for mixing in drinks, though I like to just lick it off the spoon) actually helps me feel really healthy and I appear to heal faster. If you need Nyquil or Tylenol cold or something, I recommend this brand and product as a replacement.

Vitamins: In addition to the mineral zinc, you should also make sure you take lots of Vitamin C and Vitamin E. These three vitamins and mineral are essential in the plan to make or keep you healthy. I recommend 400-800 i.u. of Vitamin E per day, mixed tocopherols is best, and 1,000 to 2,000 mg of Vitamin C per day. One great form of Vitamin C are packets to make flavored fizzy drinks called Emergen-C (name brand). Each packet has 1,000 mg of Vitamin C as well as some other vitamins that help you absorb it. The liquid delivery also helps you absorb it faster and more effectively. Pour one packet into about 4 ounces of water or juice. If you have citrus flavored packet (I like tangerine), I recommend using only citrus juice or water, to make it taste right. You’ll actually feel better after drinking this! Have two a day, or three a day for a few days just to kick start your system. Note: taking megadoses of Vitamin C, such as 3,000 mg, is okay for a little while, but be careful to make sure that you ease off of it slowly. If you jump from 3,000 one day to 1,000, your body will think it has none and will begin to show signs of scurvy such as bad gums. Don’t be scared, it’s no big deal and totally fixable. If you notice this, just increase the Vitamin C level and then bring it down more slowly over the next few days.

Steam Bath: This the last thing I’ll list here on the essentials list, before I move on to the optionals list. Steam baths, to induce sweating, is something I discovered this summer. I’ll tell you how to do it below. I wanted to know more about how sweating helped people be healthy, and why we get fevers. My research showed me that sweating is an amazing way to get toxins out of the body. The only other way is through the waste system, which is much more complicated, and, if you’re sick, it’s already compromised and weak. The sweat ducts in the skin are a straight pathway out of the body. This is an amazing trick, and I do it now even when I’m healthy because it makes me feel so much better. It’s not hard to do. I recommend this for anyone who is even a little sick and who owns a bathroom. If you have any built up congestion, whether in your nose, sinuses, lungs, or all three, this will do a fascinating trick that nothing else has been able to do – it will invite that congestion to come out of you at a highly accelerated rate. The stuff just begs to come out! Steam baths are also artificial fevers, which help do what a normal fever does, which is to raise your body temperature to a degree which the viruses and bacteria can’t survive anymore.

How to have a steam bath: A steam bath is like a dry sauna, only it’s a wet sauna. It’s a lot more comfortable and pleasurable to be in, the heat feels good instead of piercing, and you sweat at a much lower temperature – like 112 degrees lower. Since most of us don’t have access to a gym sauna, here’s how you can do it in your home…. Go to your smallest bathroom in your home (or the only bathroom in your home) and turn on the shower to the hottest possible setting. Some of you may need to raise your water heater setting in the winter to achieve the proper level; just remember to lower it again after your steam bath. Don’t eat right before this, wait until about 1.5 to 2 hours after you’ve eaten anything heavy. Light snacks don’t matter. Keep the venting system in the bathroom off, place a towel on the floor by the door to prevent heat and steam loss under the door. I like to set it up for about 5 minutes before I enter, to let it warm up a bit, but that’s optional. Go into the bathroom with a room temperature bottle of water, towels, a waterproof watch (that you are not wearing), and no clothes or jewelry. You may also want to bring a thermometer (aiming for about 96 degrees), hygrometer (really optional, and aiming for 100% humidity), reading material that can get fairly wet (in case you get bored), a body scrubbing brush, and soap. Oh, and candles if you want, too, again, really optional, eucalyptus candles or aromatherapy would also be really useful here. You’ll get your own ritual after a while. Empty the room of things you don’t want to get wet, such as magazines. Toilet paper seems to survive just fine in my bathroom. Get comfortable wherever you want in the room. You may want to start by sitting on a towel on the toilet or tub rim. After about ten minutes, I like to get hotter, so I sit on the rim of the tub, but with the shower curtain closed. It’s the most steam I’ve figured out how to be in. Be careful not to touch the water, angle the shower head up and into the wall corner so that you get more steam, but less chance of scalding. Don’t, by the way, don’t try this with children or if you are pregnant. If the water is not really hot to the touch, if you can comfortably leave your hand in it, then it’s not hot enough. At some point, if you want to be really gung-ho about this, scrub your body with a bath body brush, then soap up, then turn the water temperature down for a minute to rinse off. Then turn the water back up. The scrubbing and cleaning will help open and unclog your pores all over your body to allow the toxins to flow out of you unhindered. The steam bath should be 20 minutes at minimum, and 45 minutes to an hour if you’re really enjoying yourself. When you feel done, get out. If you get lightheaded at any time, you’re done. You can always go cool off and then come back, but be careful about being lightheaded. The steam and heat messes with your blood pressure so you may get dizzy if you stand up too quickly. Just be slow and careful and you’ll have a great time. If you’re congested at all, and sometimes even if you didn’t know you were congested, you’ll feel like you have a need to blow your nose, or clear your throat, or cough up something. Please, take EVERY opportunity to do this. Do this often while you’re in there. This is the whole point. You can do a week’s worth of draining with one hour in the steam. One last detail, you have to drink a lot of water. I go through 16 ounces of water for every 25 minutes I’m in steam. Sometimes, I need carbohydrates and salt afterwards as well, to replace the lost water and salt from sweating. Be sure to replenish yourself. Salty crackers and water are good, or Gatorade is good too, as long as you drink water as well, at least 50/50, and not just Gatorade. After the sweating, towel off, and go lie down on your bed for about 15 minutes, or until you are comfortable and cool. You will continue to sweat and blow your nose a lot during this time, this is very good. If you just take a cold shower at the end of your sweat, you’ll waste another good 20 minutes of sweating time during the cool off. So, go have a nice rest while you cool off. After the cool off time, go take a normal shower and be sure to clean your skin well, especially under the arms and the crotch area, which is where you did most of the good sweating. You may be tired for the next hour or two, but just be sure to eat and drink enough and soon you’ll notice how much cleaner your insides feel and how much clearer your breathing is.

GROUP TWO: OPTIONALS

DanActive Immunity (name brand): Dannon yogurt makes a yogurt with this name. It is a wonderful probiotic, I recommend you take one of these a day, even when you’re healthy. Probiotics add good bacteria to your digestive tract, most all diseases can be eradicated if you provide enough good bacteria to wipe them out. They sell them in week packs, for convenience. Vanilla is my favorite, but it comes in other flavors as well. It’s a drinkable yogurt, with the consistency of milk. Very yummy. Very good.

Warm bath with Epsom Salts: Another good way to artificially create a fever is to take a warm bath, as warm as you can stand it. This won’t clear your sinuses like a steam bath, and won’t create as much sweating either, but sometimes a mild fever is just what you need. Add Epsom salts and a little sea salt to help balance your body and relax sore muscles. I’m not sure why, but Epsom salts are good medicine. Somehow they affect tissues in your body for the better. They also help alkalize your body. An acid body is a playground for diseases, but an alkaline, or basic, body is strong and protected from them.

Colloidal Silver: This is a small tincture bottle of brown liquid. Electrically, they can get elemental silver into water, for easier absorption into your body. Take a few dropperfuls in your mouth a few times a day. Silver is a great anti-microbial and kills almost anything. It’s so effective, in fact, that you’ll need to be sure to drink enough water with it, and to supplement with yogurt or acidolphius to replace the good bacteria in your system.

Neti Pot (name brand): This is a small pot that’s shaped rather like Aladdin’s lamp. It is filled with warm water and just the right amount of sea salt, and some goldenseal (optional, for infections) and is used to clean out your sinuses. How?, you ask? Well, you may not want to know. :-) You pour the mix into one nostril, it goes into your sinuses in your head, and comes out the other nostril, bringing the mucus out with it. See, I told you you didn’t want to know. This works really well, though, and sometimes, it’s the only option left for a really bad case of congestion. I used to use this a lot. However, I thought I’d let you know, ever since I’ve been taking steam baths, I have never needed to use the neti pot. The steam cleans out my congestion long before it gets bad.

Green Magma (name brand) and soup: I mentioned alkalizing the body before. I’d like to give you a few more ways to do that. First of all, when you’re sick, or about to get sick, stop having desserts. Sugar is very good at weakening your immune system when you need it most. Create the opposite effect that sugar produces by eating the opposite of sugar: salt and vegetables. Chicken broth / chicken noodle soup, and miso soup for the vegetarians are both excellent at neutralizing the acid in your blood and bringing the pH back up to a good level. They both are warm, liquid, and salty, three things you need right now. Another thing I love is Green Magma, which is a pulverized powdered form of barley grass. Put two teaspoons in a glass of apple juice, once or twice a day. Even when you’re healthy this stuff will make you feel energized, balanced, and just downright better.

Aromatherapy: Some essential oils are very useful in clearing congestion and helping to overcome illnesses. Eucalyptus oil is by far the best for your nose. It smells like camphor, only better. I like to use both eucalyptus and lavender essential oils together. Not only do they smell great, but lavender is an amazing antibiotic. You can even put a drop of it in your tea, or a few drops of it in a mix with half an ounce of olive or grapeseed oil in a dropper to be used to fight ear infections. Or rub both oils onto your chest for a Mentholatum effect. But, aside from the ear dropper thing, if it’s for your nose, then getting it in the air is the best thing. Place olive oil in an aromatherapy burner with a tea lite candle underneath. Add about 5-10 drops of each oil. Less is needed with better quality essential oils. After a few minutes the smell and will enter the room. This is a great thing to do in the room your going to sleep in later that night.

Massage: Massage therapy is another wonderful option that I highly recommend, though I know not everyone will be familiar with it. Massage therapy isn’t just for enjoyment. Trust me, with my messed up leg, I’ve had some pretty painful massages. :-) But massage therapy is a amazing at keeping the fluids moving in your body. When an illness comes, it’s usually because there was an imbalance somewhere in your body. Massage can eliminate the tense areas in which muscle tissue may be holding onto a toxic build up of lactic acid, and it can also redistribute the pressure build up in your head, temples, cheekbones, face, and upper neck when you have clogged sinuses. Even have them loosen the fascia on your head if you’d like. (Yes, I’ve needed this before.) It may seem unrelated to your illness, but it’s really not. A 30-minute massage can really change your life. Before the massage, be sure to drink enough water. After the massage, you may need to ice things down. After the icing, take a warm bath or a steam bath to let all the toxins the therapist loosened have a chance to leave your body. If you don’t do this, you’ll find yourself quite sore and quite sick the next day because all those toxins and lactic acid just settled down in you again. It’s kind of like spitting after brushing your teeth. All the brushing in the world won’t do much good if you don’t spit (in this case: sweat) and rinse your mouth out with water (in this case: drink water).

Ok, I’m done. I didn’t mean to go on so long. I guess this article was a long time coming, and I had a lot of things I wanted to tell you. I want to give you all the information and power you need to take good care of yourself in regards to colds, flu, and infections. If you have any questions, please, of course, feel free to ask. I’ve been living with these remedies for seven years now. Everyone’s body is different, but the basics are similar enough that many of the things listed here should work on you.

I should note, I am not a doctor, I’m just very good at learning and remembering. None of this article can or should be taken as proper medical advice. If you want to go see a doctor, please do that. Doctors are very useful sometimes. However, there may be times when you want more, you want to help to boost your own immune system, you want to stop a cold before it starts, you want a backdoor. I hope these things will help. :-)

Too Little or Too Much Light?

Several weeks ago when we had the first signs of fall here in Texas, which is another way of saying it wasn't the middle of summer anymore, I had some thoughts. I've always loved the winter and hated the summer. Now, I know this is largely explainable by where I live. I grew up in Tucson, Arizona, and now I live in Texas. Both warm and southerly states. Both places where the winters are very mild and the summers are both very hot and very long. So, I always thought it was rather normal.

But this time I wanted to know more. I have theories about it, such as that my very fair Scottish skin and hair are simply better designed to live in lands with less heat. And, really, that might be the answer, or at least a part of it.

I looked up Seasonal Affective Disorder, SAD, which I'd heard of before, and is the condition in which people get clinically depressed in the winter. People with this disorder have predictable chemical changes that create depression, and that do not result from a conscious decision to change their emotions or hormones but rather are caused by less sunlight. This is both more indirect rays and fewer hours per day of sunlight. The best solution to SAD appears to be sitting in front of full-spectrum lights for a certain prescribed amount of time per day in the winter.

I investigated the existance of an inverse SAD effect, and I found it. Not as many cases exist, of course, since most people in this country live further north of me. The condition, in fact, is said to be most commonly found in the southern most states of the US. It is called Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder and is marked by the same symptoms, with the opposite cause.

I knew this applied to me because of the sheer rush of happiness and feelings of extreme peace that I feel in fall and especially in winter.

I thought for the longest while that it was temperature, that I just liked the cold, so I watched myself for the past two months. I get cold just like everyone else. Cold makes me happy, but only sometimes, not all the time. So it wasn't a uniform cause of any chemical changes. I began considering light. I know there is actually a rare condition in which people are allergic to light, and have to live in the dark, so I figure it's not unreasonable to postulate that there could be a large group of people who are merely uncomfortable in too much light. And, I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that most of those people are fair-skinned people living in near-tropical latitudes, such as myself. :-)

In fact, I might even go so far as to say that the hormone inbalances present in my family might have been triggered by living at the wrong latitute for our genome. Clearly, we haven't had these imbalances forever, or else our counterparts still living in the UK would share those imbalances.

So far, my observations on myself have proven this light thing to be quite viable. For example, I love my sunglasses. I need them for basic survival and prevention of massive headaches in the summer, and even in the winter, when it's overcast, I'm still a lot more comfortable wearing them. I've noticed that, disproving my theory that cold weather is what makes me happy, that temperature isn't nearly as important as light levels outside. If the sky is completely overcast, I'm as happy as I can possibly be!!! When the sky is the opposite, clear and sunny, even if it's cold outside, my mood is most definitely quite subdued. This is not even going into how incredibly sensitive I am to being sunburned, and how much I hate the feeling on sunlight on my skin or clothes.

The solution? Once you know a new part of yourself, addressing it is more of a priviledge than a chore. When I find myself stressed, just try to get to a darker place. Simple as that. Close the drapes more often, turn off a lightswitch when it seems appropriate. Basically spoil myself in ways that I always thought were socially unacceptable. I'll have to keep learning more as the year progresses, and as the dreaded sun comes back in the spring. In the meantime, I intend to live it up during this cool, darker winter.