Alexander broke his arm

Just wanted to let everyone know that Alexander broke his arm today. He fractured his radius bone in his left forearm. Not a full break, but not a hairline fracture either, a real one that we were able to see on the x-rays. In one angle, there was a visible dark line all the way across the bone, and on another angle, you could see that the bone had been compressed and misplaced, like crushing a coke can by squeezing the top and bottom together. It looked like land after an earthquake, when a fence has been moved over a few feet.

Anyway, he's fine, very fine. He was playing at a friend's house and did some funny twist-fall and fell off a swing. The mom and I and Alexander talked on the phone a lot, and keep in good monitoring of the situation. The mom they were with was so wonderful in taking care of him for me! I decided to just let him rest for a while and see if it still hurt later. Usually my kids are perfectly fine after 30 minutes of resting, so I wanted to see if that was the case this time. So, they watched a movie and put ice on it. Later, when I went to pick him up, it still hurt. He said it stinged. He never cried or anything, so it was hard to tell how much he was hurt. He's very stoic, my friend said. It's true. There was one direction he couldn't turn his wrist at all. He was up, and playing with his friends, and moving around, but he wasn't using that arm at all. Those things, plus the fact that he was still in sharp pain led me to take him to the Urgent Care Center to get it checked out.

Right now he's fine, he's just resting. He's just on Jr. Tylenol, so it's really not the worst pain in the world. He's good unless he tries to move it. He's fine and just getting used to doing things one-handed. Thank goodness his right hand is okay, his school teacher doesn't want to have to write out all of his homework for the next month! hehe :-)

Right now, he has a half cast on, held on with ace bandages. They call it a splint. He'll wear that for a few days. He also has a sling. The immobilizing with the splint and sling has helped a great deal, since it was the bumping and moving that caused him pain.

Tomorrow, another doctor is going to look at his x-rays. She'll determine if it's something she can cast herself, or if he needs to go to a specialist. Either way, he'll be getting a full cast in a few days, probably on Monday. They don't know yet if it will be just below the elbow, or above the elbow. The cast will probably be on for 3-4 weeks.

That's it for now, just wanted to keep everyone informed. A few pictures are attached, and a few more are on Facebook. If you want to contact Alex, you can use email, Skype, or call my phone.

He's still going to go to everything, all of his normal events, but he may not be running around quite as much.

Fun Quotes & Lessons Learned

Sidney: Is it true that God answers all prayers?
Cpt. Chandler: Yes, but sometimes the answer is no.

-- from M*A*S*H. My dad used to always tell me the story of this quote, and now I'm so glad he did because it perfectly describes my life, and gives me lots of comfort. :-)

Just when the caterpillar thought

her world was over,
She became a butterfly

-- I just read this on someone's blog. I don't know where they got it from.

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!

-- from WKRP, another show my dad used to watch, and a funny quote that I was remembering earlier this week for no apparent reason, other than it was funny.

I just had a really bad week just now, and somehow everything I was sad or mad or upset about from the past 1.5 years just welled up inside of me. I felt a lot of anger for a day or two there. I think it was good for me to let myself fully feel all of it, I really needed that.

But -- I needed to stop it before it went on too long.

Fortunately, I started reading conference talks from last week's conference, and found one from the Prophet during the men's session that applied to me. It was about not being angry. http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1117-21,00.html Well, it was exactly what I needed! I guess the spirit can speak to us through conference talks, because I somehow learned more lessons than were taught in that talk. :-) That, combined with the loving friendship of my friends and some inspiration from my ultra-romantic husband, who is teaching me to focus on the important things in life, like love, and not focus on stuff that doesn't matter as much, like disabilities or hassles in life.

I watched "50 First Dates" today. We had recorded it when it was on tv earlier this week. I love that show because it's so funny, and has great people in it (not to mention the scenery!). But this time the movie really spoke to me. I was crying the whole second half of the movie pretty much -- in a good way. It was a love movie, just like Brian likes. But more than that, the woman had a physical problem that no one wanted her to have, but everyone had to deal with. Adam Sandler didn't want her to have the problem, but he loved her anyway, and just had to work around it in order to get to love her. And what he did for her changed her life, and allowed her to live her life, which she might not have been able to to do if he hadn't come along. Most importantly, at the end of the movie, everything is great, and they are living a wonderful life -- EVEN THOUGH she still had the exactly same physical problem she had at the beginning. It was wonderful. It showed me that you don't let the thing stop you, that it can still be there, and you can still life a great life. That's life. I loved it.

And just like that movie, my husband loves me a lot, and doesn't care at all that I don't stand up anymore. I mean, he cares, but only that he also wishes it wasn't so, but it doesn't affect his love for me. How fortunate am I?! So, I need to take his lead and just be happy like he shows me to be, and not worry about everything.

Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

-- from "someone to watch over me", which as far as I'm concerned came from Mr. Holland's Opus, even though I hear that it was a song before that. and that show, by the way, reminds me of John Holt. :-)

I wanted to report back that I'm feeling much better today! It's appears to be over. I love rain, and it rained a lot today! :-) And I got to get caught up on laundry, and school work with the boys, and other things I needed to do, and I took a nap which I desperately needed. So, I feel much better, and somehow, the weight of the world has literally been removed from my shoulders. I feel much better. :-)

I really need to find a hobby, something that I like to do, for me, to replace hiking and other stuff I used to do in my prior life. I'll have to keep you updated on that search.

Response

FROM TARA, ON FACEBOOK:

Tara Ford

I can understand where you are coming from. I had a dear friend that was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was in her mid-twenties. I probably prayed harder for her than anything I ever had for myself. She passed away about a year and half after her diagnosis.

A few weeks after she passed, a man gave his testimony in church on a fast Sunday. He had a family member that was diagnosed with cancer and was healed. His testimony was about how "prayer works" and can heal people.

It made me so mad!! The pain of my friend's loss was still fresh, so hearing about something positive for another person just felt like salt in the wound.

I know that sometimes we just need to vent to feel better--not sure if that's all you needed when writing this note. But if you do need some positive words I want to let you know that you are an amazing person. Maybe you can't do some of the activities that you enjoyed before, but I think perhaps you are finding new perspective and joys. One of those things is your photography. I don't know if you did much before, but I've enjoyed seeing your nature pictures and all the pictures of your family. I think that is something that everyone is going to treasure down the road. And perhaps you take those activities that you love and reinvent how you do them. Have you done much container gardening?

Don't want to turn this into a sermon, so will stop there. But if you feel like you need to vent more or need some words of encouragement I'm around.

MY RESPONSE:

Yes, I just needed to vent. I was having an angry day yesterday. That's really rare for me, but I decided to go into it deep yesterday, to finally feel all of the anger I had been building up for so long. I'm feeling better today. I totally know what you mean about your friend. Some people are telling me that I'm choosing to be disabled because I don't have enough faith. But that's just not how it works sometimes. They're like "what did God say when you got a blessing?" And I answer "he said get used to it, this is your life now." Then it's like they don't believe me.

People ask why I don't pray to get healed anymore. I did. I tried a lot. But God said no. So, I eventually moved on to pray for things he said I could get, like a basic diagnosis. Now I'm praying that my new medicine might give me relief from the lifelong hormonal problems I've had. So, I'm praying for things that God's said maybe I can have. There's no point in praying for something for over a year when he says No every time.

But it is hard. When I first stopped being able to walk, in our ward we also had two other people that were potentially dying. So, needless to say that got all the attention. One lady died of cancer a few months later. Tragic, so unfair, you know? The other kid got lots of medical treatment and after a very long year is now fully healthy again. Then there's me, who will have several decades worth of life changing as a result of how my year went. Life definitely isn't fair. Yes, prayer helps some families, when God approves it, but sometimes he doesn't approve it. But it doesn't mean they weren't praying enough. It just means God said no.

Thank you so much for your kind words, Tara. They really helped. Yes, I'm desperately in need of a hobby to replace hiking. I loved walking on rocks. I did container gardening a bit last Spring, but there are too many problems with it since it is so hard to get to my tiny back porch, and then I'm trapped on the tiny back porch, not enough room for the bag of dirt, and I can't get to the grass. And in the kitchen, all of the counters are so high that I can't use them for potting, because my arms tire really quickly when I have to raise them over my head. So, I hope to container garden a lot more once we move, in a few years. Or maybe now, if I can find a way. I'd like that. The photography I've always done, but not seriously. But I feel it has really suffered because I can't climb over rocks like I used to do to get the good shots. I guess I don't want to feel like I'm giving into a gimp hobby. But any hobby is better than none.

See, I'm just complaining again. I'm sorry. I'll work on it. Eventually I'll find something I like to do. Brian says I need to think outside the box, and think of things I've never thought of before, instead of just wishing I could do what I used to do. So, he's wise, as always. :-)

Brian's also really inspiring me lately with his romantic movies. He loves, not so much chick flicks, but movies about love. His favorite right now is Enchanted. He loves singing love songs too. He's a complete romantic. But I'm learning from him, learning that love can be more important than the crap in our lives. And that maybe if I focus on the love, and remember that it's more important, maybe I'll worry less about the crap.

Just a theory, but a good one. :-)

I just read this from last week's conference. I have heard stories like this forever. What's my change? How will I improve my life now that I'm broken? I don't see it. How does everyone else get a problem, then see something they needed to fix, and then they feel better? I get a problem, and just have to stop doing things, like hiking, gardening, cleaning my house, being active. I just stop more and more. What have I gained?

Recently I observed such a mighty change in a man whom I first met about 10 years ago. He had come to a stake conference at which his son was sustained as a member of the new stake presidency. This father was not a member of the Church. After his son had been set apart, I put my arms around this father and praised him for having such a wonderful son. Then I boldly declared: “The day will come when you will want to have this son sealed to you and your wife in a holy temple. And when that day comes, I would be honored to perform that sealing for you.”

During the subsequent decade, I did not see this man. Six weeks ago he and his wife came to my office. He greeted me warmly and recounted how startled he was with my earlier invitation. He didn’t do much about it until later, when his hearing began to fail. Then he awakened to the realization that his body was changing and that his time on earth was indeed limited. In due course he ultimately lost his hearing. At the same time, he became converted and joined the Church.

During our visit he summarized his total transformation: “I had to lose my hearing before I could heed the great importance of your message. Then I realized how much I wanted my loved ones to be sealed to me. I am now worthy and prepared. Will you please perform that sealing?”⁷ This I did with a deep sense of gratitude to God.

September

Above: Just a pretty sunset picture I took last month.

Hey everyone. Just catching up here. Here are a few pictures below of things we've done lately. See flikr and facebook for many more pictures. They are harder to upload here, so I don't upload as many on blogger. We've been good here. No flu, thank goodness. But Brian and I seem to have had one, or many, small colds, for about 3 weeks now, and they don't appear to be going away any time soon. So, who knows what's going on with that.

I'm sticking with the belief that spinal cord nerves, like arms and legs and eyeballs, can't be regrown just by wanting it to be so, and meditating on it. That is causing me some friction with people. So, that's too bad. If I inform someone that something is permanent, it's not because I'm saying I want it to be permanent, but because it is permanent. Lots of things are permanent, and lots of things happen that we didn't really want to happen. Accepting that fact is different than wanting that fact to be true. Very different. It just is real. That's reality.

I've rediscovered the band Rush, which I used to love in High School. I finally got around to hearing their 2007 record, which I only barely listened to when it came out. MalNar is great! I'm loving remembering all of the songs I used to hike to, and went to concerts to hear, and I love the new ones, and how they generate the feeling of motion. I always feel like they are driving or hiking songs, and I love that feeling. It makes sense, really, since the author of the lyrics, the drummer, also loves travel and writes of it often in the songs.

Our oven appears to be broken, so we're going to have to replace that. We've been living without it just fine, and just using the toaster oven, but we have a goal to replace it in time to cook Thanksgiving dinner. Also, we are shopping around for homebuilders. Soon, we're going to check out Tilson, a custom homebuilder in town. They tell us they can make all the modifications we need, like wider doorways, lowered counters, and accessible things I need. We're not in a hurry, but someday we do need to start building ourselves a one-story house. So, talking with them will be a nice first step.

I need to find a way to satisfy my hiking desires. I've tried handbikes again, and confirmed that I really don't have the arm strength for them, which means I'm out of options for self-powered vehicles to replace hiking, as I had hoped. So, I'm looking to motorized things. Maybe 4-wheelers or something would be fun. For now, I already have that electric scooter, so I think I should use it more often to get out there, go over the rocks, and get some speed. I spent most of yesterday outside in the rain with my kids, running and scootering around the neighborhood. It was great!

Here are the boys in front of part of a huge pumpkin display.

Alex on the climbing rock at the RISE Adventures End of Summer Bash. No, that's not me you see there, that's another mom. I'm taking the picture.

Alexander and Brian climbing together.

Sam reached the very top of the structure.

The event took place by a beautiful lake in Dallas.